Letter to Julia [Ann DuBose Toombs], 1862 Mar. 22

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Camp near Orange [unclear text: C.H.] Saturday the 22nd March 1862
My Dear Julia,
Yesterday & to day [today] I recd [received] your letters of the 6th llth & 13th Inst. [Instant] The last through Mr Browne, I have written you one or two letters (two I think) since those you received & sent you two telegraffs [telegraphs], We have finally stopped our retreat at This place, but how long I do not know, but think from appearances it may be some Time, The weather is very bad, raining constantly & the men with but few tents, but they have kept their health remarkably well considering the circumstances, My own has been generally pretty good Tho' [Though] I have [added text: not] recovd [recovered] from my cough as fast as I hoped to do. Edwin Anthony & his party of recruits reached here yesterday. I did see him, being absent from Camp, but Dudley & the Staff [illegible text] them all [unclear text: week] . As to your expectations of my being in Richmond I thought I had been very explicit on that point. I would not be Mr Davis Chief Clerk, his secretary

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of war can never be any thing [anything] else. I told my friends in Richmond to spare me the necessity of declining it if they found it in contemplation, I have not heard that they had any occasion to interfere. We have got to win our independence in spite of the gov. [government] of Mr Davis & we will do it, & the war will end with him the most unpopular man in the Republic. So far as I am concerned he will never give me a chance for personal distinction, He Thinks I pant for it -- poor fool! I want nothing but the defeat of the public enemy & to retire with you for the balance of my life, in peace & quiet in any decent corner of a free country.
It may be his injustice may drive me from the army, but I will [added text: not] quit it until after a great victory in which I shall have had The opportunity of doing Some thing [Something] for the country -- The day after Such an event I will retire if I live through it. I have grievances enough now to quit, but I shall abide my time.

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I get along very well with the army. I have not seen Johnson but once, he was polite & clever, G. W. Smith I see every day, he is a first rate gentleman & good officer.
I hear from Stephens constantly but from no body else in Richmond.

I expect you will find your hands full in getting things in order on The lot & farm, but it is extremely important to your comfort that you should do so, The garden & fruit are great additions to family comfort & every effort should be made to put them in the best condition, you will of course have a house full while at home & must do the best by them you can -- But do not make yourself a slave to young peoples comfort. I find they are but too willing to accept the servitude of all who will stand it. Govern your own household yourself, & according to your own wishes --

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I hope very much to see you this summer & shall certainly not object to you joining me anywhere or at any time that you are safe & it is possible for me to be with you & wherever I may be I shall expect at all events to see you before the 1st July. Tell Gabe I do not care to change my crop -- I wish to raise an abundant fruit & [unclear text: rice] crop & then as much cotton as I can, He may find it to his advantage to plant more corn as he can sell at Columbus. But Brownes & Chambers policy is foolishness -- as to the [unclear text: upkeep] & care of my house I can not afford it The officers charge me full rent for upkeep and if I have nothing behind me, I will have no debts if I can help [added text: it] -- We must use care -- design to prevent fire but if it comes let it come, -- take it as one of the inflictions of providence. We can use a smaller house if need be, & perhaps with equal comfort & happiness. I should hate to lose my books & papers, but, if it

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must come, let it come -- I have "a heart for every fate" -- I am glad you wrote to Mr Dowell, I have not heard a word from either of them since I saw them, & do not know when they killed my meat -- what success they had in saving it, events of the utmost importance to me, I hope if you or Gabe hear anything about it you will let me know -- you will be short at home soon & if I have any to spare down There I want to send for it. I was very sorry to hear of your brother Edwin's death, but I must say I looked for it & strongly advised him against going west, It was the greatest possible mistake ever looking [illegible text] to the benefit of his family -- I often think of the dear little children in connection of him & friends, You & I are getting along in the world & can go out of it with but few regrets, but These little innocents have every thing [everything] at stake in this mighty contest. Grandfather

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father, near relatives, fortune all prevailed perhaps upon one great battle -- The best we can do for them & ourselves is to do our whole duty with undaunted spirits, You say you pray for me daily I need it, put it in your prayers that if it be the will of God that I shall fall a sacrifice [deleted text: to] [added text: in] this great conflict that I may meet it, as becomes a gentleman That I shall struggle to do.

I have dreamed of you almost nightly for the last two weeks, more I think than I ever did in my life but I can not [cannot] say with the song that "even in dream to be blessed in so sweet that I ask for no more" . For in very truth I do want something more -- I will write to Gabe today or to-morrow [tomorrow] if possible My best love to Sallie & The little children, [unclear text: Clera] Julia & her baby & Gabe & his children & accept for yourself the whole heart of

Your husband
[Signed] Toombs