Anecdotes of the Civil War / by an old Confederate veteran

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PREFACE.
As I was in the war of the 60's and now in my 81st year, having no means of support except my pension, concluded I would write a few Anecdotes of the Civil War and a few on 'some preachers, hoping the old Veterans and their friends would take some "of them so I may have a little change in my declining days.
J. D. CURTIS
Formerly of Co. E. 53rd Ga. Regiment Now of Porterdale, Ga.
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CHAPTER I.
Conversion oi Gabe Tucker.
ABE TUCKER was an eccentric old man: never read his Bible, had no use for preachers; yet he let his daughter,
Susan, go where she pleased to go. Susan eventually got to be a frequent attendant over on the
ridge where the preacher was, a young man by the name of Lawson, and it was not long before Susan and Lawson were very intimate friends to say the least of it. The members knowing Old Gabe's hatred to preachers, thought they would notify Lawson before he would blindly run into trouble. Lawson who seemed to have some bravery as well as brains, informed them that he was going down to Brother Tucker's to ask permission to visit Miss Susan with the object of matrimony. Lawson's bretheren told him that would never do; Old Gabe would sure whip him for he was a great fighter and was never whipped.
Old Gabe's neighbors having heard of Lawson and Susans' intimacy, asked Gabe what he would do if his daughter should marry a preacher. He said the preacher would first have to whip him and put his head under the water: and he had never seen any one wearing preacher clothes that could do that.
Lawson true to his promise, soon paid Old Gabe a visit; after some very unusual remarks, Lawson asked if Miss Susan was at home, Old Gabe said "Maby she is and maby she aint, what you want to know that for." Lawson replied "I have come to ask permission to visit her as a lover." Gabe says "Do you know what I am going to do to you?" ''Nothing rash, I hope," says Lawson. Gabe says * 'I am going to slap your jaws to begin with," and he gave Lawson a terrible slap. Gabe said to Lawson "Do you preach what you believe, and believe what you preach." Lawson answered "Yes, surely." Gabe said "Don't you preach that if you are struck on one cheek to turn the other one?" Lawson said "Yes." "Well," said Gabe, "turn your other cheek and take your medicine." With that, Lawson turned and Gabe nearly knocked him out of his chair.
"Well" said Lawson, "I have obeyed the Scriptual injunction now I am going on my own responsibility." He struck Gabe and kept striking him until he had backed him into a trough of water

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that completely ducked old Gabe. After Gabe had got the water out of his ears, Lawson asked "Are you satisfied." "Of course I am," says Gabe, "I am no hog."
"Well, let us shake hands as friends." "Well," said Gabe, "I love to shake hand with a man. You will do to tie to, you can have my gal and I am going to hear you preach.' ;
So Lawson ducked old Gabe, knocked religion in him and married Susan Tucker.
CHAPTER II.
How a Hungry Soldier Got His Dinner
HEN the command that I was in went into Winter Quarters in 1863, in East Tennessee, we found the citizens consider
ably divided between the North and South. Those in favor of the North were called Union men. The Southern soidiers would forage among the citizens considerably, but the mess I was in de cided we must make us a hut to protect us from the weather be fore we could forage.
I could hear the boys as they would come in in the evening, cuss an old Union man, for they would say he would neither sell or give them anything and that he had a plenty. They would cuss him and accuse him of being stingy, on account of his treat ment to them, He, to prove to them he was not stingy, told them that he did not have but one gal and when she married he was going to give her one thousand dollars. I had heard these reports, so one day myself and three others decided we would try and get us a Christmas dinner. We went out and had no success until nearly twelve o'clock, and as it happened we were near the old Union cuss's house. One of our crowd had often been there and had as often failed to get anything.
It was proposed to try there and if we failed, to go back to camp. The one that had been there so often, said he would bet five dollars if they were eating dinner they would not ask us to eat I, under the impulse of the moment, took his bet with the understanding that I should go alone. We staked our money and I went alone.
I went down and they were eating dinner; the other boys re mained near enough around to see me either succeed or fail. I hailed at the gate and presently a large, rough man appeared at

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the door, and seeing me who he would take for a rebel. I thought he spoke rather rough for our limited acquaintance. He asked me what I wanted. I told him I knew how I could save him $100.00. He spoke quick, "How, how." I informed him I was hungry and never could talk well in that condition, but any time I could find him at home and me not hungry, I would tell him. He said "Come in and get your dinner and you can tell me while you eat/, I obeyed that invitation with alacity and delight for I was hungry.
As we entered the dining room he told his wife to fix me up a plate, for said he "I believe I have found an honest rebel." I sat down with my hat in my lap and sure went to work on his biscuits and sausage. He would try and interrupt me occasionally I told him the soldiers were telling wrong tales on you, I have even heard some of them cuss you and accuse you of being stingy but you have give me a good dinner. I have also heard that you was going to give your daughter when she married, one thousand dollars. I wish to know if that is true. "Oh," said he, "I have said so and I am able to do so and expect to do so, but I want to know how you are going to save me that $100.00." I arose and left the table and I must say the table was about all, I left with my hat in my hand and about a dozen biscuits in my hat and got between him and the door. I frankly informed him I would take his gal and he could only give her nine hundred.
He seemed offended at something for he told me good-bye with the toe of his boot in the gable end of my pants.
I got a good dinner, won $5.00, but failed in getting his gal.

CHAPTER III.
How Parson Baker Whipped Fighting Bill
ARSON BAKER in his young days was much of a man and a considerable rounder, but at the age of sixty he got religion
and decided he would have to preach. He decided he would go out West among the roughdried. He had lost so much tune he would have to keep busy, so he bounced his flea-bitten gray and soon was preaching among the rough of the West.
There was a place in this territory known as Fightersville, a cross roads grocery run by Fighting Bill. Bill had warned Baker

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never to poison the place with his tracks. Baker gave Bill roundance for some time, but eventually he decided he was not doing the Lord's will, so he sent an appointment to Fightersville for Saturday at 11 o'clock. There was quite a crowd either to see the fight or hear the sermon.
Baker was promptly on time, so was Bill and as soon as Baker hit the ground Bill was hitting at him. But Bill soon found that Baker could hit some too. Baker fought Bill as he sang: "Sure I must fight if I reign," then with a double twister he would sing "Fight on my sole till death, the battle never give over." Baker soon had Bill so bloody he had to go to Sally, his wife, for repairs.
Baker bounced a whiskey barrell and preached to the aston ished crowd. At the conclusion he announced he would preach there again the Fifth Sunday in August. Bill had also returned and announced "If you ever come back here I will surely whip you." Baker said "I will preach here on the Fifth Sunday in August or somebody would make the dust fly." Baker was
prompt on the date set, so was Bill. Bill told him to prepare hisself to take his whipping. Baker said he always had prayer be fore services. Bill said say your prayers then I will whip you. Baker thanked the Lord for his protection. Said the graves of all the Bills he had ever killed stood as monuments of his protec tion. He closed his prayer by asking the Lord to be with this man, widow and orphans. Bill felt a little weak but he again told Baker to prepare for his whipping. Baker said he usually had a song after prayer, before services. Bill said sing your song then I will whip you. Baker took a long bladed knife, stooped and began to sharpen it on his shoe, as he sang:
Hark from the tomb, a dolesome sound, my ear attend the cry. Come Fighting Bill and view the ground where you shall surely lie. Bill is this your certain doom and are you still secure
standing here right at your tomb, and yet prepared no more. Bill I will pray for quickening grace to fit your soul to fly, so when I drop your wicked flesh, you may rise above the sky.
As Baker closed his song and arose with a sharp knife, he saw Bill up the road making the dust fly.

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CHAPTER IV.
The Excursion Put OH
'TffHERE was a very despondent old substitute soldier that de cided his time to die had about come so he came to his Cap
tain and told him there was going to be an excursion along to cross over the river and he would go with it but he wished his Captain to send word to Sam to come after his remains to carry them home. His Captain asked what Sam he referred to. He said there was Old Sam, Young Sam, Big Sam, Little Sam and Sammy, but you write to my grand-mothers youngest son's nep hew; he is cross-eyed, knockneed and stutters. Well, said the Captain, what is his P. O. ? He is got none. Well I mean what is his address? He don't wear dresses, he wears breeches. Well said the Captain, you come in my mess hall and get a good dinner and you will feel better. So he sent him into the mess hall and he found the Captain's quart of whiskey and drank rather freely, and the Captain heard him singing:
Run nigger, run, the Pateroler ketch you. I run, I ran my best, I run my head in a hornet neat. I want to be a soldier and with the soldiers stand, A facing of them Yankees and a gun in my right hand.
The Captain called him, asked him how he felt. He said "I feel like I have religion and a new married wife, I never felt bet ter in all my life, so if the excursion comes along to cross over the river tell them I am on picket.

CHAPTER V.
The Young Preachers Trials in the Mountains
?k YOUNG preacher put on his long coat and derby hat and - went into the mountains to enlighten the heathern. His first trial was late one evening at a house on the mountain side where he knocked for admittance. A woman opened the door and took him for a detective. She would not at first ask him in; he informed her he was looking up the lost sheep of the House of Isreal. She said there was a black sheep running around the lot, she thought it Mr. Jones' but it might be Mr. Isreal's. "Oh, my

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sister" said he, "I see you need light." She said "I know that as well as you do, and John promised to cut a window in that
room but he went off and forgot it." "Oh dear," said he "I don't know if you ever heard that
Christ died for sinners." She said she heard there was a bury ing over the mountain yesterday, but didn't know who it was. "Well my dear sister, there is to be a gathering and a sad seperation ere long and you will be there." She said "No I wont, I always get disappointed in going to those big gatherings so don't let John know anything about it or he'll get drunk."
At last the preacher asked her if there were any churches near. She asked is them statehouses. The preacher remarked she was one blamed idiot. No, she said you are wrong again my names Jane. Well said the preacher "Where is your John." She said they had sent him to the Legislature but she didn't know what he done to be sent off for.

CHAPTER VI.
Jerusha Jane Skeegs
It has been many years since I fell in love with Miss Jerusha Jane Skeegs, The prettiest country girl by far that eve went on legs.
By my meadow, creek and dell so often did we walk, The moonlight smiled on her melting lips,
And the night wind learned our talks. Jerusha Jane was all to me for my heart was young and true.
And I loved that girl with a fervest love and a love that was honest too. But a city chap he came along all dressed up in fine clothes,
With a shiney hat and a shiney vest and a mustach under his nose, He talked to her of singing schools, for her father owned a farm,
So she left me the country love and took that chaps arms, All that night I never slep nor could I eat next day,
For I love that gal with a fervent love that naught could drive away, So my poor heart was sick and sad until the thought struck me,
That just as good fish still remained as ever was caught in the sea, So I went to the Methodist Church one night and saw a dark brown curl,
Peeping from under a tipcy hat, and I married that very girl. Many years have passed and gone, I think my loss my gain,
I often than!: that harry chap that stole Jerusha Jane.

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CHAPTER VIL
Rye Straw
WILL give a few verses that the soldiers sang occasionally to relieve the monotony of camp .life while in Winter quar ters. We called it "Rye Straw", and the only words to the song was rye straw, but some of the boys would repeat a chorus, for instance:
Rye straw, rye straw, rye straw, rye straw. CHORUS
Somebody had a little pig, I think they called him Davy, And when we killed the little pig, we had a heap of gravy. Another chorus was: Somebody had a little lamb, I think they called her Mary, And when the children went to school, the lamb would act contrary.
Somebody had an old Shanghigh, I wish they would let her be She laid me an egg for every day, and Sunday she laid me three.
Somebody had a little dog, I think they called him Mack, He run the big hogs over the fence, the little ones through the crack.
The Deserters Song.
Poor rebel, poor rebel take warning by me, The fruits of secession behold now and see. My mind is tormented, my bodys confined My wife and little children left weeping behind. They go to bed hungry, get up tile same way. The meat tub is empty, no meal in the tray. Oh you rich fellows that promised to me My wife should not mill it or barefooted be That she should have meat as long as you had, You have broken your promise which makes me so sad When this war is all over the negroes will be free, The Southern Confederacy will go up a tree.
Those Rebels Will Fight.
(The Old Yankee's Song)
We went into the army, it was our delight; We soon learned to our sorrow, those rebels would fight, We met them at the Wilderness there they used their guns right We learned again in sadness, them rebels can fight. We met them at Coal Harbor, there we struck them rightBut, coming or going them rebels would fight. We soon learned with sadness, if you met them day or night It seemed always with gladness them rebels would fight.

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CHAPTER VIII.

Two Pictures in Poetry.

The Sheep Feeder-

Men of the faithful Church of Christ

Believing what the Lord has said that he be with

All his preachers and they surely would be fed.

j

Thus they go without a salary, traveling forth from place

To place, telling us the same sweet story

Sinners saved by sovereign grace. When their days on

Earth are ended, at his table they sit down,

There no more to leave their family but with Jesus

Wear a crown. Now we'll sing, O Lord revive us

All our help must come from thee

And we'll pray the worldly minded may their faults

And folly see, then they'll trust no more in dollars

For to save a ruined race,

But can sing the true Hosanah, sinners saved by Sovereign grace.

The Sheap Shearer--

The hireling is to fleece the sheep,
Collect the dimes himself to keep. He travels Far and he travels near to hunt the sheep himself To shear, and when he gets from young and old Everything that looks like gold he then begins to move his nest Sometimes he may go way out West But he may go from shore to shore, his turn don't change He still wants more, and should he find a Fighting Bill Running of a blockade still, he'll take a dram And smack his lips and often wants another sip.

The People I Love.
If you will read this page, you'll hear me tell, Of the people I love and among whom I dwell,
They are called by hard names, as Iron-jacket Hardshell Yet I love them and with them dwell.
Their name is not legion for they are but few, In their soul salvation, they claim nothing to do.
They believe in election, in this they confide, That Christ is the husband, the Church is the bride.
The command to the preacher is to feed the sheep, As a true under-shepherd, to watch and not sleep.
If he sees the wolf coming to sound the alarm, That the sheep be not caught or suffer no harm.
That he is not to preach for silver or gold,

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For of such fault teaches, the Apostles foretold. Me thinks the preacher that is true to this command,
The poor little sheep around him will stand That if by him they are Spiritually fed.
They shall see that he shall never want bread. The greatest of wonders I ever did see,
That any of those people could ever love me. For I am so full of sin and unbelief
That day after day it causes me grief; Yet I hope to see the blessd day where free from sin and free from Clay I with good people in realms above shall sing of the Saviors love.

The Old Hymns I Love.
That Sacred music in the hymns, Those hymns of long ago,
And when the people rise to sing The ones I use to know,
I rather want to take a hand. I think of days gone by
On Jordans stormy banks I stand And cast a wishful eye.
Theres touching music in those hymns, Those dear sweet hymns of old;
Visions bright of heavenly light And shining streets of gold
They seem to sing forever sweet Of Gods amazing love.
I love those hymns to now repeat They lift my thoughts above
I want to hear those old hymns still From old time meetings rise.
Till I can read my title clear, To mansions in the skyes
We never used no trumpets then No organs built for show.
We only sang to praise the Lord From whom all blessings fiow.

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