Life skills for mental health, ages 9-11

AGES 9 -11

AGES 9 - 11
September, 1977
GEORGIA DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN RESOURCES DIVISION OF MENTAL HEALTH AND MENTAL RETARDATION
PREVENTION UNIT
In cooperation with the
GEORGIA STATE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are many people who devoted time and effort to the development of the Life Skills for Mental Health program. We believe the following persons deserve special thanks.

BOB DIXON Griffin Outreach Program
BOB FRYE North Carolina Department of Public Instruction
JERRELL LOPP Georgia Department of Education
JERRY ROSEBERRY Georgia Department of Education
JACK SHORT Georgia Department of Education

RENDEL STALVEY Georgia Department of Education
JOHN SWISHER Pennsylvania State University
JOAN TETEL Chapel Hill-Carrboro School System, North Carolina
PAUL VAIL Georgia Department of Education
JUDY VICARY Addictions Prevention Lab, Pennsylvania

And a special note of thanks to AMY REYNOLDS for the design of the book and cover, and to MARY BROWN for the illustrations of children. And to CATHY CARR and DIXIE REDDING for their secretarial assistance.
The Life Skills for Mental Health program was developed with support from the Alcohol and Drug Section, Division of Mental Health and Mental Retardation, and with technical assistance from the U.S. Office of Education, Southeastern Regional Training Center.

CONTENTS

ABOUT THIS BOOK

1

HELPFUL NOTES TO TEACHERS AND GROUP LEADERS

5

PART 1 - ACCEPTANCE OF SELF AND OTHERS

IDENTIFYING PERSONAL QUALITIES IS IMPORTANT

17

PEOPLE CAN IMPROVE THEIR STRENGTHS AND LIMITATIONS

19

PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT ABILITIES

20

YOU ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING

23

YOU CAN MAKE CHOICES

24

GROWING UP MEANS ACCEPTING MORE RESPONSIBILITY

FOR YOURSELF

25

PART 2 - FEELINGS

EMOTIONS ARE NORMAL

29

EVERYONE HAS EMOTIONS

30

FEELINGS AFFECT THE BODY

31

WE SHOW FEELINGS IN MANY WAYS

33

BEHAVIOR AFFECTS FEELINGS

35

EMOTIONAL NEEDS CAN BE SATISFIED IN DIFFERENT WAYS

36

EMOTIONAL STRESS HAS MANY SOURCES

37

PEOPLE CAN CHOOSE TO REACT DIFFERENTLY TO A

STRESSFUL SITUATION

38

PART 3 - BEING WITH OTHERS

RESPECT FOR THE DIFFERENCES IN PEOPLE IS IMPORTANT

41

CHANGES IN RELATIONSHIPS BRING MANY FEELINGS

44

TIME BY YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT

46

SHARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS IS PART OF MAKING FRIENDS

47

FRIENDSHIPS NEED NUTURING

48

YOU INFLUENCE RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR FAMILY

49

YOUR ACTIONS AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE

51

PRESSURE FROM OTHERS CAN INFLUENCE YOUR BEHAVIOR

54

APPENDIX

MIDNIGHT, A LITTLE BLACK PONY

59

THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS OF MAKING DECISIONS

63

ON YOUR OWN

67

THE OVERNIGHT

69

HOUSEWORK

71

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A DIVORCE

73

BUTTONS

77

GLAD TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE YOU

79

BILLY'S PROBLEM

81

ADDITIONAL READINGS

83

ABOUT THIS BOOK
WHAT IS "LIFE SKILLS FOR MENTAL HEALTH"?
This is a Leader's Guide designed to introduce teachers and other adults to a role they can play in helping young people learn about themselves and what they want in relationships with others.
It supports the school's partnership with the family in fostering a young person's total growth. Just as intellectual learning does not stop when the child is away from school, neither does emotional growth stop when the child is away from the family.
It is a resource for general classroom use; it is not intended to be a counseling tool. Teachers are not asked to be therapists.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
The activities help young people learn important skills in dealing with the problems and challenges of living, changing and growing. Life coping skills include clarifying personal values, building more satisfying relationships through productive communication and negotiation, and standing up for oneself.
The activities described in this Guide give young people the opportunity to explore situations they currently face or are likely to face and to consider how they want to handle those situations.
Teachers can use the activities as separate mini-courses during the school day, as part of the lesson plan for a regular subject area, or when naturally occurring situations involve issues raised by the Life Skills activities.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?
Schools have always expressed their commitment to the total development of children, including social and emotional growth. In the past, however, schools put more emphasis on basic academic skills -the three R's - to meet the needs of a predominantly rural, newly industrializing society. As our society becomes more complex and more mobile and as change becomes a way of life, the needs increase for schools to join their emphasis on academic skills with an equal emphasis on social and emotional skills. There are at least three areas where attention is needed:
1. Self Awareness and Self-acceptance
There was a time when the values learned at home were supported by neighbors, church, school and the community at large. But television and high mobility have changed the picture, constantly exposing people to a range of views on any issue. Moreover, many of the values we learn as children change as the world around us changes. Consider for example the changing role for women and the values affected by this change. Young people need the opportunity to learn who they are as individuals and what they are willing to stand up for. They must be prepared to sort through conflicting and changing messages to make their own value decisions.

2. Acceptance of Feelings
There seems to be increasing pressure in our society to deny certain basic human feelings that are considered unpleasant. We must always be "up" (take a pill if your're not!). Down is not OK and anger is not nice. The truth is, we all experience the total range of human feelings. But adults as well as children are often naive about expressing feelings productively and choose instead to camouflage them until they build up and spill over uncontrollably.
3. Interpersonal Relationships
The bases of good relationships are the ability to express oneself directly and openly to others, the ability to listen to others, and a genuine respect for the needs and feelings of other people. Few of us practice this much of the time. Especially in conflict situations, we tend to deal with each other through gaming and manipulating or by explosive outbursts when the anger builds up and breaks through inappropriately.
The opportunity to anticipate many life situations we are likely to encounter and to explore important value issues and our relationships with significant others can help us expand our potential for functioning in an increasingly complex world. For some of us, the opportunity to learn important skills as an educational experience rather than as a therapeutic experience after a crisis has occurred, can help us respond more effectively to stress and possibly to avoid or minimize crises.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO TEACHERS, TOO!
In states where similar programs have been used in schools, teachers say that their students become more interested in school, better at communicating, cause fewer discipline problems, work together better and become more productive in their school work. Often, students who have been quiet and withdrawn in class discussions gain a confidence and interest in expressing themselves during Life Skills activities that carry over into subject areas. And when adult leaders genuinely participate in the activities, they are likely to experience the same benefits as their students.
WHO CAN USE IT?
Teachers, mental health workers, counselors, Scout and youth group leaders, among others, can participate in the Life Skills program. The program is not limited to any particular subject area. What subject a person teaches is less important than a commitment to help young people develop as human beings.
IF YOU WANT TO TRY LIFE SKILLS
The Life Skills for Mental Health Program is being offered through participating community mental health centers in Georgia. If your school or organization wants to use the Life Skills material, contact the center in your area. If the center in your area is not participating in the program, contact the Prevention Unit in the State Division of Mental Health and Mental Retardation, Georgia Department of Human Resources.
The centers offer a training workshop to prepare you to use the Life Skills activities and are available to you for fOllow-up assistance.
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THE TRAINING WORKSHOP
Training is an essential and exciting part of the Life Skills program. The workshop will orient you to the Life Skills program (why it was developed, how it can be used), acquaint you with the type of activities in the Leader's Guides and prepare you to use the activities in your class or group of young people. You will learn four simple strategies to help you:
1. Listening for Feeling - identifying the feelings underlying another person's statement to you and communicating that feeling back to the speaker.
2. Behavior Feedback - pinpointing another person's behavior and the effect of the behavior on you without judging, blaming or name-calling.
3. Values Clarification - specific exercises which help people decide what is important to them and just how strong their convictions are.
4. Role Playing - structuring simulated situations for students to act out.
ORGANIZATION OF THE LEADER'S GUIDE
The Life Skills activities are organized into four different books, or Leader's Guides - one each for four different age groups: 5 to 8 years; 9 to 11 years; 12-14 years; 15-18 years.
Each Leader's Guide has three major activity sections or parts:
1. Acceptance of Self and Others
2. Feelings
3. Being with Others (Interpersonal Relationships)
Each part is introduced by a statement of the goal and general objectives for the activities in that section. The "concept" is given at the top of each page. "Purpose" statements are given at the beginning of a group of activities and Ii nk several activities together. One or more purpose statements relate to the concept across the top of the page. In some cases, special explanatory notes follow the purpose statement.
The activities are not arranged in a sequential order that must be followed. On occasion, an activity will build on or refer to an earlier exercise, but this is clearly noted. Leaders are encouraged to become familiar with the activities and select from them as they see fit. Since the Guide is not a day-by-day lesson plan, activities appropriate for the first day of school are not necessarily at the front.
It is not necessary to use every activity in the book. Teachers should choose activities appropriate to their students and to their level of comfort in dealing with the issue. A number of activities suggest additional film or material resources related to the issues being discussed. Teachers who choose to use a film should preview it first to judge its appropriateness. The Inside/Out Film Series has a very good teacher's guide which provides additional follow-up activities.
Before the beginning of the three major activities parts is a page listing resources (Activities Reference Guide) from which many of the activities are drawn. Numbers in ( ) after some of the activities correspond to the resources listed in the Activities Reference Guide.
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HOW THE LIFE SKILLS PROGRAM WAS DEVELOPED
For the most part, the material used in this program is not new. In fact, is has been drawn from a variety of well-known and well-tested resources. (See Activities Reference Guide). The value of bringing these resources together is that it gives the adult leader a variety of activities, some simple and some more sophisticated, for exploring a single issue. The activities do not require expensive props or films that often are essential parts of other resources. However, we encourage adult leaders to be creative in using props (e.g., have children make puppets to use in role plays) and to search out film resources that would enhance the Life Skills program. Although a small group of representatives from the Georgia State Department of Education and the State Mental Health System developed the program in a cooperative venture, in many ways it belongs to and is a product of a large group of concerned Georgians. As each Leader's Guide was developed, a rough draft was mailed to teachers, teacher trainers, school administrators, school counselors, mental health workers and agencies and organizations concerned with facilitating the social and emotional growth of Georgia's young people. They were asked to tryout the guide, where appropriate, to review it carefully and to suggest any alterations necessary to make this the best possible resource.
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HELPFUL NOTES TO TEACHERS AND GROUP LEADERS*
PLAN TO USE THE MATERIAL REGULARLY AND FREQUENTLY
Use of the material about twice a week is optimum. Use of the material between once every two weeks and twice a week will still bring about observable changes. If you use the material only once per month or less, you probably will not achieve any observable results.
PLAN FOR AT LEAST ONE HALF HOUR, ON THE AVERAGE, FOR EACH SESSION
Discussion is the most important part of any "Life Skills" activity. The activities are designed to stimulate young people to identify, reflect on, clarify and express their own feelings, values, concerns, etc. Participating in an exercise has some value, but the students' reaction to their own experiences during the activities is most important. Many of the exercises can be completed comfortably within a half hour. Some will take a little more time. It will be easier to judge the amount of time to allow after you have tried a few of the exercises and have a better feel for how your particular group will respond to them. Of course, as they become more comfortable with the nature of the activities, they will want more time for discussion, but will need less time in preparation (e.g., getting over the "sillies" in role play).
USE LIFE SKILLS AS A RESOURCE
You can use the Life Skills materials as a resource in several ways: Look through the concepts and purposes to find activities for use in subject areas where you are dealing with related issues. For example, high school English teachers can use "Romeo and Juliet" as a basis for discussing family conflicts or "dating someone your parents don't like." Elementary teachers can assign "feeling" words for the week's spelling list. Children can find synonyms for the words, make up sentences using the words, pantomime the feeling, etc. When a problem arises that concerns self-acceptance, feelings or relationships with other people, turn to the appropriate section of your Leader's Guide to find an activity that bears on the problem at hand. Develop mini-courses around the topics of communications, interpersonal relationships, and so forth .
These notes are adapted from Ideas for Making the Mostof Life Skills for Health: Focus on Mental Health, a program developed by the North Carolina Department of Public Instruction.
5

DISCUSS THE ACTIVITIES BEFORE BEGINNING
Because many children are unfamiliar with this type of material, they may be hesitant about participating fully at the beginning. Therefore, tell them why you are doing the activities, what your plans are, what you expect of them and what they should expect from'you and their classmates. Let them know that they are free to speak their minds, that there are no right and wrong answers, that you will not be grading them, that the purposes are to explore ideas, feelings, values, problems and especially ourselves.
Before each activity, explain all that is going to happen during the activity. Especially indicate when you will be asking students to share information about themselves that they have written down privately. This will give them an opportunity ahead of time to decide just how much they want to disclose.
BEFORE BEGINNING THE FIRST ACTIVITY, POST A LIST OF RULES IN FULL VIEW OF STUDENTS
Three rules will suffice in the beginning:
1. Only one person talks at a time
2. When one person talks, everyone listens intently
3. No put-downs!
These rules govern participation. When a rule is broken, remind the students immediately by saying and pointing to the appropriate rule. Tell the students that more rules might be necessary in the future if problems develop in the class during Life Skills activities, that the students themselves will be responsible for determining the necessity for and phrasing of any new rules. You, as the teacher, will often have the task of identifying the existence of a class problem and of defining the problem in terms of the harmful effect it has.
Rules 1 and 3 are easy to monitor since they are observable behaviors. Rule 2 is a little harder, but one technique which fosters listening is this: Every so often, stop the class discussion and ask, "Can anyone tell me what the last two people have said?" or, "Can anyone tell me how Jerry and Susie's answers are similar (or different)?" Occasionally, check out these summaries and comparisons by asking the original respondents if they have been quoted accurately.
WHEN POSSIBLE, THE TEACHER SHOULD PARTICIPATE FULLY IN CLASS ACTIVITIES
When students do an exercise, you should do it with them. It is especially important that you participate fully in any sessions where feelings are being expressed. Sharing your own feelings with students establishes, by example, an atmosphere in which they will feel free to be open and honest. And your sharing allows students to get to know the teacher as a real, live human being (not just as an authority figure or as a teaching machine) who has feelings, problems and concerns, who is not infallible and who deserves the same respect as any other human being.
ALLOW ANY STUDENT TO SAY "I PASS" AT ANY TIME
The student might not wish to share a private thought. Make it clear that "I pass" is a perfectly acceptable response that will be honored without question or embarrassment during a discussion. Teachers say that
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although some students do "pass" during initial activities, as time goes by and as group acceptance grows, few students - if any - say "I pass."
DO NOT GRADE LIFE SKILLS ACTIVITIES
Very few teachers have problems motivating students to participate in Life Skills activities. Grades are not necessary as incentives. In any case, it is impossible to grade feelings, values, etc. If it is absolutely necessary that you produce a grade for students, grade on participation. If a student is present, breathing and taking part in an activity, give her an "A".
This is not meant to be a head course where students memorize the definition of "feelings" or "value" or the three parts of a behavior feedback statement; rather it is the opportunity for them actually to express their feelings and convictions. It is the actual practice of relating to others and making value decisions that is essential.
USE THE GROUP DISCUSSION SKILLS "LISTENING FOR FEELING"
"Listening for Feeling," as a facilitating response during a group discussion, has the following benefits:
1. It establishes a nonjudgmental, uncritical atmosphere in the class. This encourages students to talk about their true concerns and feelings.
2. It keeps discussions on a personal level and prevents the class from drifting into bull sessions or from talking about impersonal generalities.
3. It encourages students to reflect on and clarify their own thoughts and feelings.
Listening for Feeling works like this: When a student makes a statement, try to identify the student's own personal feeling concerning what he is saying. Accept the student's right to his own feeling and verbalize that feeling back to the student. Use statements such as:
It's important to you that. ..
Sounds like you are pretty excited about. ..
You'd rather...
You're worried that. ..
It's embarrassing to you when people...
Remember, you are reflecting the feeling you hear, not mandating how the student should feel.
Allow students time to respond to your Listening for Feeling statements. Typically, you will have three or four interchanges with a student when you use this skill. The student will make a statement. You will identify and verbalize a feeling that you perceive in the student. The student will expand upon his feeling, clarify it, give a reason for it, correct you, or (commonly) state another, related feeling. You will identify and verbalize the new or more precise feeling, and the student will react again. Normally, the student will end the interchanges by agreeing with your previous statement by his silence, tone of voice, etc. Then, the teacher goes on to another student.
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ACTIVELY STIMULATE PARTICIPATION, DISCUSSION AND THOUGHT
In addition to Listening for Feeling, you can look directly at the student who is speaking, smile, nod and thank the student for his contribution or for sharing his thoughts. Do not agree or disagree with the statement. The Life Skills activities are times when students are encouraged to think for themselves; if you pass judgment on their thoughts at this time, you will find that they will respond in the way they think you would like to hear. They will be trying to figure you out, not figure themselves out!
Feel free to raise questions about what students say. Ask for examples or paraphrase them. But don't force answers or force students to justify their comments. The object is to encourage thought and open, honest expression - not to pi n students down or to persuade them. Draw out those with whom you personally agree as well as those with whom you disagree.
Encourage diverse expressions of values, feelings and attitudes. Minority opinions should be sought out. Listen carefully to all students, even if what they say is poorly stated, ludicrous or obnoxious.
When calling on students to participate orally in a Life Skills session, select them on a random, not predictable, basis. Change questions frequently. If this practice is not followed, you will find students merely parroting what some other student has said, rather than thinking the question through.
Keep the discussion moving and focused by asking questions such as, "Has anyone else ever felt that way?" "Has anyone else ever had the problem of... ?" "I'd really like to hear more about that. Can you expand on it?" "Jerry, you frowned when Cathy said that. I wonder if you feel differently?"
The physical arrangement of the room can contribute to successful discussions, too. Experiment with large'
and small circles of chairs, "u" shaped seating arrangements, double circles, and so forth. Discussions seem
more personal and students more attentive and sincere when they can see the faces of the other students.
DO NOT ASSUME IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO SOLVE ALL PROBLEMS
If, in the course of a session, a student relates a personal problem, use Listening for Feeling to help clarify and define the issue. Give him a chance to do his "emotional homework" by dealing with his own problem himself. Help out by suggesting some alternatives, if necessary. Even help him think through the alternatives but let him choose his own solution.
Naturally, this advice does not apply to serious emotional disturbances. Seek other help in dealing with these students. "Life Skills for Mental Health" was designed for use in preventing problems, not treating them.
When problems occur that involve the entire group, engage the whole group in problem solving. Facilitate their discussion of the problem, the alternatives available to solve the problem, the consequences of these alternatives and the desired result. Let them select a potential solution. Let them make mistakes and go through the problem solving process again.
Although it is useful to let students make (and correct) mistakes, it is also useful for the teacher to model the process of anticipating problems and preventing them before they occur. For this purpose, and also to insure that the intended focus of a session is maintained, the teacher should share with the students any worries or concerns before beginning an activity. For example, if your goal is to help students to become aware of and be able to identify sources of emotional stress, you might ask them to complete some open-ended statements such as:
I get nervous when...
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I don't like... It seems unfair to me that. .. Something that really gets me angry is... You might be afraid that a student would write the name of another student after the "I don't like... " statement. Before beginning this activity, you could state to the class: "I'm afraid that somebody might write the name of a classmate in the space after 'I don't like.. .' and that person will really get his feelings hurt. Therefore, I'm asking you not to write the name of anybody in this class in this exercise." This is an opportunity to help students learn to express feelings such as "dislike" for actions and behavior rather than "dislike" for the person.
PLAN A WAY OF CONCLUDING EACH ACTIVITY
Closure is an important part of an experimental activity. It is important to spend time processing the exercise so that students develop a conscious awareness of what has gone on in the activity and learn why the events of the activity happened as they did. Use one or more of the following methods at the completion of an activity:
1. Summarize what has happened and what your goal was in doing the activity. 2. Ask one or two students to summarize or make generalizations about the meaning of an activity. Ask
them to comment on the outcome and how it relates to real life. 3. Invite the class to discuss their views about the purposes of the activity. 4. Ask each person to complete one or more statements:
Today I learned... In today's class, I wish we had... I was surprised to learn... One thing I learned about myself today is... The most important thing that happened today is... I would like to spend more time on ... In today's class, I wish I had said... In today's class, I'm sorry that I. .. It bothers me that. .. Today's class would have meant more to me if...
Discuss a few of these.
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5. Have each student keep an ongoing "journal" of her own reactions to activities. Collect these now and then, read them and write positive comments of your own in the student's journals. Ask students to share voluntarily a few of their recorded thoughts occasionally.
Don't rush through this. Plan ahead for sufficient time. You will benefit from this as much as your students will.
AS A FIRST RESORT, USE NON-PUNITIVE METHODS OF DEALING WITH BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS
When one or more students bug you by their behavior, try a method called "Giving Behavior Feedback." This technique is based on the principles underlying "Life Skills for Mental Health." That is, awareness, understanding and respect for ourselves and other people. To the extent that you choose to be authoritarian and punitive, class atmosphere conducive to success with Life Skills deteriorates.
Giving Behavior Feedback goes like this: Tell the student exactly what she has done, describing an observable behavior. If there has been a concrete, observable effect of that behavior, describe that, too. Then describe your own feeling about the behavior and the result. If it might not be clear how the behavior and its result led to your feeling, describe that also. Then quit! Example: "When you talk while I'm talking, the others do not hear me and I feel unimportant, like what I say really doesn't matter." Do not tell the student what you think he might do. Give him time to change his behavior, and save face too, before trying another method of dealing with behavior problems. Teachers report that it may take a day or two, but it works surprisingly well.
The key to using this technique is to have the courage to reveal your own feelings. If a student makes you feel unimportant, foolish, helpless, frustrated or hostile, tell her so. Her concern for you as a vulnerable human being is her motivation to change her behavior; she has to know that you have feelings before she can care about not hurting them.
One of the best things about this technique is that it leaves the responsibility with the student for his own behavior. You do not assume responsibility for his behavior by telling or advising him what he should or shouldn't do. You only describe the behavior and effects, both observable and emotional.
Giving Behavior Feedback can and should be used for behavior that is pleasing to you as well as for behavior that is displeasing.
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE BENEFITS OF ROLE PLAYING
Role playing can be used to dramatize, expand or extend many Life Skills activities. Role playing is helpful in making issues seem real, modeling, identifying problems, rehearsing behavior, identifying alternative solutions to problems, projecting possible consequences of different actions, learning to empathize, generating data for discussions, examining interpersonal communications, and understanding causes of behavior. Besides all that, it can really be fun!
The following suggestions promote successful role playing:
Show enthusiasm. If you seem hesitant or dubious, your group will behave similarly.
Before beginning a role play, orient the students to the general subject matter. Example: "Today I'd like for us to investigate how people's values influence their behavior. For the sake of example, we'll be looking at some of the factors that bear on decisions about the use of alcohol." Although the role play will have a structure and you will have a specific purpose in mind for doing the role play, do not state or even have in mind a predetermined outcome for the role play itself.
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Select role players (volunteers if possible). Keep the number small; two to five people is best.
Briefly describe the situation to be role played and the characters involved. Assign role play identities to the role players. Give each person a name other than his or her own.
Set an approximate time limit for the actual role play - hardly ever more than five minutes - and state that you will arbitrarily stop the role play at some point.
Tell the role players to imagine that they really are the characters they are portraying, that they are really not themselves. Ask them to picture how they look and feel as their assigned characters.
Give the role players 30 seconds to prepare themselves and then say "begin."
If at any point the role players seem unsure as to what to say or how to proceed, solicit a few suggestions from the rest of the group. Do this only if the players really get stuck - tolerate brief silences and minor floundering.
Cut the role playoff while it is still going strong. Don't wait for it to peter out. If your object is to see how the role players solve the problem, but they don't seem to be getting close, interrupt the role play and ask the characters to come to a solution.
At the end of the role play, lead the applause and praise the role players, even if they didn't produce an "Academy Award" performance.
During the discussion following a role play, always refer back to the characters by their role play names, not their real names. Insist that the class follow this procedure, too.
Always have a planned follow-up to the role play. Depending on what takes place during the role play, you might have to alter your plan somewhat, but have some prepared questions that will relate the role play to your object in doing it. Ask questions like:
What alternatives did Linda have besides what she actually did?
What do you think might have been the consequences of the way Billy was acting?
What values were important to the mother in the role play?
How would you feel now if you were Amy?
How did Jimmy feel about. .. ?
Some children first respond to role playing by apparent apathy or by "clowning." This usually reflects their hidden anxiety. Reduce anxiety by showing acceptance of student performances and comments and by making serious responses to ideas, even if they are presented jokingly. If clowning persists, talk about it with the group, discussing why people sometimes act silly when they are afraid inside. For students who seem reluctant to participate actively in role plays, ask them after the role play is finished if they were thinking of anything that they didn't say. Or ask a student what she would have said if she had been a role player.
It is often interesting and enlightening to use "role reversal" after a role play or following a discussion of a role play. Assign characters to opposite roles and do the play again. Another form of role reversal involves assigning girls and boys to opposite roles.
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Variations of role playing: (1) on the blackboard, write the names of one or two imaginary people, or use a poster or magazine picture. Briefly describe these people and the situations they are in, and ask the group to state what the characters might be saying, feeling or thinking; (2) divide the class into two groups, assign each group the role of one person, describe the roles and the situation and ask for random statements. Either of these variations can be used if you absolutely can't get any students to volunteer for a role play you have already set up. As the class becomes more experienced at role playing, they can offer suggestions for situations and characters to be role played, based on their own concerns and characteristics. After students become comfortable with role playing and understand its purpose, you can role play real situations, either re-enacting problems or anticipating potential problems such as getting lost from the group on a field trip.
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ACTIVITIES REFERENCE GUIDE
Many of the activities used in this Guide were adapted from the following resources. The activities followed by a number reference - e.g., ALL ABOUT ME FOLDER (5) - refer to the resource listed below.
1. A World to Grown In (curriculum guide series), 1972, Educational Research Council of America, Cleveland, Ohio.
2. Developing Understanding of Self and Others (DUSO D-2), et) 1973, American Guidance Service, Inc., Circle Pines, Minnesota.
3. Toward Affective Development, (TAD), ([; 1974, American Guidance Service, Inc., Circle Pines, Minnesota.
4. I Can Do It, Dimensions of Personality Series, 1972, Cebco Pflaum Publishing Company, Fairfield, New Jersey.
5. Life Skills for Health - Focus on Mental Health, Division of Health, Safety and Physical Education, North Carolina Department of Public Instruction, Raleigh, North Carolina.
6. Free To Be You and Me, cD 1968, Free To Be Foundation, Inc., (McGraw-Hili Book Company, New York).
7. Inside/Out Teachers Manual, 1973, Agency for Instructional Television (formerly National Instructional Television), Bloomington, Indiana.
8. Dealing With Causes of Behavior (curriculum guide series), ] 1972, Educational Research Council of America, Cleveland, Ohio.
9. Education In Human Behavior, a part of the Child Educational Psychology Program in Mental Health and Human Behavior, 1968, Educational Research Council of America, Cleveland, Ohio.
NOTE TO READER The materials used with permission from the Educational Research Council are part of the Education in Human Behavior and Potential Program. For further information on the total program, contact Dr. Eddie E. Myers, Director, Evaluative Research and Psychology Department, Educational Research Council of America, Rockefeller Building, Cleveland, Ohio 44113.
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ACCEPTANCE OF SELF AND OTHERS
TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE BECOME MORE ACCEPTING OF THEMSELVES AND THE SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE WITH WHOM THEY COME IN CONTACT
To feel better about self as an individual with talents and personal qualities that are valuable
To be less critical of personal limitations
To accept personal characteristics which cannot be changed
To appreciate others' talents and accept their limitations
To be able to clarify important value issues, especially in the face of conflicting messages
To accept the decisions that others make and the values that others hold as being legitimate for them
To be able to generalize learning that occurs in specific situations to other similar situations

IDENTIFYING PERSONAL QUALITIES IS IMPORTANT

Purpose:
To help children appreciate who they are as individuals - their talents and interests, strengths and limitations.
ACTIVITIES
ALL ABOUT ME FOLDER (5)
Give a folder to each child. If possible, have different colors and allow children to pick their favorite color. Encourage each child to personalize his own folder by drawing on it, pasting pictures on the cover, etc.
Tell children that this folder will be used to gather information about themselves and that one part of the folder will be called the "Secret Folder." No one will look at the "Secret Folder" except the child. Folders will contain certain classwork, pictures, and notes. (Note: The purpose of the "Secret Folder" is to encourage children to express any strong feelings or problems relating to school, friends and family through drawings, writing or any other form of expression. Under no circumstances should the teacher or other children look
at the "Secret Folder". If a child is unable to re-
solve her feelings, problems or secrets through her own resources, she should be encouraged to discuss them with someone.)
PERSONALITY IN A PACKAGE (5)
Ask the children to tell a stranger about themselves. The only method of communication they can use is to send a package of three things. These three things should tell something important about the child - what he believes in, what he enjoys and what he does best. Each child is asked to select her three items carefully and either draw or describe them on paper. Give each child the opportunity to tell the class which three items she has chosen and what they say about her. Include the paper in the "All About Me" folder.

SELF PORTRAIT COLLAGE Have children draw themselves on paper, or ask them to work in pairs and trace each other on a large piece of paper. Each child puts his name on his picture. Fill in the silhouette with a collage of pictures of hobbies, favorite people, favorite places, pictures of themselves, pets, family, etc. Provide some time for children to share their self portraits. Ask them to look for similarities and differences.
DESCRIBE YOURSELF (3) Ask children, "If you had to describe yourself over the telephone to someone you did not know, what would you say?" Ask children to make a list of self-descriptive words (e.g., tall, freckles, blue

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eyes, shy, etc.) to respond to the question. Tell them not to write their names on their lists. Collect the lists and redistribute them. Have each child read the list she was given and ask the remaining children to guess who is being described.
If the children are unable to guess, ask the author to identify himself or herself. After each list is read and the author identified, return the list to its author. Include the list in the "All About Me" folder.
Purpose:
To help each child recognize the worth of his or her personal talents.
Note: Children often feel inferior to peers who have abilities that they don't have, or who appear to them as "prettier" or "more popular. " It is important for children to recognize their own personal talents as valuable and to appreciate that some abilities (e.g., better coordination) come with age. These activities are designed to help children redirect their attention away from things they don't do as well as someone else to the valuable qualities and skills they do possess. At the same time, children will have an opportunity to appreciate the different abilities that all of their classmates contribute - not just the noticeably talented ones.
ADVERTISEMENT FOR MYSELF (7)
Have the children write an advertisement or TV commercial promoting themselves. The ad should include positive statements about themselves: What makes them unique, what they do especially well, etc.
WHY I LIKE BEING ME (5)
Ask each child to write a short essay, notto exceed one page. The only guideline he is given is the title, "Why I Like Being Me." Read the essays to the class and ask children to guess who the author is. Include the essay in the "All About Me" folder.

Note: Children who choose not to share their essays or some part of their essays can indicate by writing "DO NOT READ" at the top of the page or beside the parts to be kept private. It is important to help children learn respect for privacy by showing respect for their privacy.
As an alternative to a written exercise, open the class to spontaneous responses to the statement, "One reason I'm glad I'm me... "
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS (5)
Ask the children to write down 20 things they like to do. (It's OK if they can't think of that many). Each child should underline the five items on her list that she enjoys the most. Children form pairs and each person tells the other the reasons for his selection of each of the five favorite activities. Include this list in the "All About Me" folder.

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PEOPLE CAN IMPROVE THEIR STRENGTHS AND LIMITATIONS

Purpose:
To help children recognize that they can choose to accept or to change the things they do not like about themselves.
Note: These exercises will help children appreciate that everyone has something about himself he does not like. By recognizing this common bond (even with the "star student') children will be better able to accept the things about themselves they cannot change and perhaps to redefine some of the characteristics as just part of "being the unique person that I am."
The "I Like Myself, But. .. " exercise may identify some children who do not seem to like themselves at all. Help them to recognize their strong points. Give them special support during the activities that deal with change. Be sensitive to times that you can praise them without being too obvious and setting the child up as "teacher's pet." Notice whether or not you tend to admonish these children more than others. If so, try to reverse your pattern so that praise outweighs negative comments.
People who expect perfection of themselves spend much of the time feeling inadequate and frustrated. "Changing" and "No One is Perfect" are designed to help children accept their "imperfectness" and at the same time to recognize that they do have the power to change some things about themselves. Children who expect perfection of themselves may often be overly critical of other peoples' imperfections.
ACTIVITIES
I LIKE MYSELF, BUT. ..
Each child makes two lists: "Things I Like About Myself" and "Things I Don't Like About Myself." Ask the children to notice which list is longer.

Ask the children to put a star beside each item in their "Do Not Like" list that it is possible to change. Allow time to work in pairs and discuss both lists.
CHANGING
Each child identifies one thing that she does not like about herself and that she wants to change.
(Note: It should be a characteristic that she wants to change rather than a characteristic that she
feels pressured to change.) As a group, write prescriptions to change that characteristic. For the children who want to try the prescriptions, check their progress in a week. Help them set realistic goals and emphasize even the smallest successes.
NO ONE IS PERFECT
As a group, make an "I'm Not Perfect" list on the board. Discuss with the group:
Do we really need to be perfect? Why not?
Can we be perfect?
Is anyone perfect?

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PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT ABILITIES

Purpose:
To help children accept differences in themselves and in others.
To help children recognize that all people have different abilities.
To help children appreciate their personal abilities as valuable.
Resource: "Can Do/Can't Do," part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by Agency for Instructional Television and available through the Georgia Educational TV Network and the State Department of Education Film Library.
ACTIVITIES
MIDNIGHT, A LITTLE BLACK PONY
Read Midnight, A Little Black Pony (see Appendix). Discuss the ponies' different abilities and how they helped one another.
ABILITIES (5)
Note: The activities under ABILITIES may create some "teachable moments" for helping students learn to deal with feelings of frustration and "failure" (e.g., "I can't do this as well as I should!").
1. Ask the class to divide into two's. Ask each partner to make a list of the other's abilities. Tell the class how they differ from one another. Each child keeps the list of his abilities in his "All About Me" folder.
2. Ask each child to make two lists: "Three Things That I Do Well" and "Three Things I Wish I Could Do Better." Ask volunteers to share their lists. Discuss with the group: "Everyone has some 'thing' she wishes she could do better."

3. Ask the children if they want to set up a "Skills Trade" market. Children who want to do a thing better will get help from children who do that thing well. Allow some time each day for a week (or more) for the help sessions.
As much as possible, create a situation where all children are both teachers and learners.
THE REAL ME (5)
Each child completes the following questions. All answers are "correct." The purpose of the exercise is to explore the differences between how we see ourselves and how others see us. It is an aid in understanding differences among people in general.
When I know the answer to a teacher's question in class, I usually...
Most of my classmates think I am...
When someone asks me to be the leader in some group work, I. ..
People who come into class for the first time probably think that I...
When I see others doing better than I am, I. ..
From past experiences, I believe the teachers think I am ...
No matter what others may think about me, I know I am...
When I try to do a lesson and cannot, I...
When I do not know what the assignment is or how to do it, I. ..
I believe that the people I live with think that I am . . .
The thing that worries me most is...

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I wish that I could change...
I am most interested in...
What I like best in school is...
If I could do whatever I wanted, I would ...
Usually, when the teacher calls on me to give an answer, I feel. ..
When I have extra time, I usually...
Most of all, I would like to change...
I am happiest when I am...
I am pretty good at. ..
Ask for volunteers to read some of their answers aloud. Discussion should be encouraged: (a) was anyone surprised by another person's answer? (b) do you have a different view of any of your classmates? (c) were you surprised that your answers were similar to or different from other children's answers?
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
Collect the papers resulting from a previous exercise "A Few of My Favorite Things" and prepare a master list on poster paper from all activities listed by children as being the five activities enjoyed the most. Tabulations of the number of times each activity was listed by individuals are written beside the activities. Return original papers to their owners and ask them to compare their list with the master list. Discussion questions can include:
Would you say you enjoy the same kinds of activities that other children your age enjoy, or are you very different?
Why do you suppose some activities on the master list are not enjoyed by more people?
What causes people to have differing interests?

FIND YOUR TWIN
Give the children some time (5 to 10 minutes) to mill around with instructions to "Find someone exactly like you." Discuss with the class: No two people are exactly alike. Even twins have some differences.
Now ask the children to make another search, this time for someone who is completely different. When children have found their opposites, ask them to find one thing they and their opposites have in common.
Purpose:
To help children understand how people learn to accept whatever it is that makes them feel different from others, and to help them recognize that the process of becoming a person is in many ways very much the same for everyone.
Resource: "Donna," a part of the Inside/Out Film Series produced by Agency for Instructional Television and available from the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education Film Library.
ACTIVITIES
SPECIAL DIFFERENCES (7)
Some people have special differences which create special needs in learning to cope with the world around them. Have children consider the problems of not being able to see or to hear, or the problems of being paralyzed. Also consider how "handicapped" people compensate for disabilities by developing other abilities. Blind people, for example, develop very sensitive powers of hearing and touching.
Ask children to pair up and take each other on a silent "blind walk." One child is to put on a blindfold (or close his eyes), and the other is to be the guide. After fifteen minutes they should trade roles. The "blind" person should hold arms and hands with his guide. Neither may talk; each may communicate by hand movements only.

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The guide should provide a variety of sensory experiences for his partner. For example, he may lead his partner through close spaces and under obstacles; let her stand still and listen to the sounds in the air. The guide may indicate directions by touching, letting his partner feel tree trunks, thorns, leaves, cars, signs, putting her hand in running water and mudholes, making her bend down to smell the ground and flowers.
At some time the guide should let his partner touch another person. The guide may skip, run or jump with the partner only if the partner is willing to try.
The guide should not force the "blind" person to do something she doesn't want to do, even if the guide knows it is not dangerous.
After each child has had an opportunity to experience how a blind person uses his senses, the class may discuss:
How did you feel while you were "blind"?
Were you aware of how you used your senses? Why?
How did you feel when you had to depend on someone else to help you?
Were you willing to try a new experience? Why?
Do you have a better understanding of some of the problems a blind person encounters?
Ask the children to discuss in small groups this statement:
No two persons are alike. Sometimes it can hurt to feel different, alone or apart. But you are you and that's the way it is. What is most important is that you learn to be yourself.
After a small group discussion, give each of the children the statement on a slip of paper to take home. Ask them to discuss the quote with their parents. The next day, let children share the discussions they had with their parents. Ask them to compare what they said in class with the discussion they had with their parents.

CHOOSING TO BE DIFFERENT
Discuss with the group:
Can you think of some times when you try to be like someone else or like other people?
Can you think of some times when you try to be different from someone else?
What are some of the reasons for wanting to be like someone else?
What are some of the reasons for wanti ng to be different from someone else or other people?
Complete the sentence: "I wish I were... " (e.g., a different age, sex, a specific person, etc.). Ask children to talk with someone who is the way they wish they were. Find out if that person wants to be different.
IF EVERYONE WERE ALIKE
Discuss with the children: What would the world (or this class or your group of friends) be like if everyone were exactly alike? Consider what it would be like if:
Everyone looked alike
Everyone had the same talents and interests
Everyone were the same color
Everyone were -the same sex
~ \~~
-- '---""I,
i it
....

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YOU ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING

Purpose:
To help children understand and accept differences in themselves.
Note: Contrary to popular belief, increases in weight and height are not the major developmental changes of the pre-teen years. The most significant developments are increased flexibility, agility and coordination, increased intellectual attainment and advanceing maturity.
These activities emphasize becoming aware of one's own development through the years. The discussion stimulated by the activities could lead easily to a study of the anatomical and physiological changes that will occur in adolescence. Also stress the changes in emotional maturity and personal development that can be expected.
Resource: "Can Do/Can't Do," a part of the
Inside/Out Film Seriesproduced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available from the Educational TV Network and the Georgia Department of Education Film Library.
ACTIVITIES
THE DIFFERENT ME'S
Discuss with the class:
Do we all grow at the same speed?
Do we grow the same amount every year?
How have you changed since you were a baby? Si nce you were six years old?
Develop a time line showing the characteristics and abilities - physical, emotional and social expected at each age.
Ask the children to think of three things they can do now that they could not do when they were babies. What are three things they cannot do now that they

will be able to do when they've grown up? Include in the "All About Me" folder. Discuss with the class the meaning of the word "Moods." Moods are one type of temporary change that we experience daily. Ask the children to discuss:
What does it mean to be in a "good mood"? How does it feel to be in a "bad mood"? Have you ever had "one of those days" when nothing goes right? Parents, teachers, friends, sisters and brothers have moods, too.
CJ

23

YOU CAN MAKE CHOICES

Purpose:
To help children recognize the decisions they make in their lives and to acquire better skills in evaluating the choices they face.
Note: When children feel a sense of competence
to handle situations, they naturally feel better about themselves. These activities provide an opportunity for children to consider how they might handle some possible situations. This practice will help them, should the situation occur, and will foster good decision-making skills when they encounter new situations.
ACTIVITIES
MAKING CHOICES
1. Discuss with the class the meaning of the word "Decision" ("Choice").
2. Explore with the class: In which situations do you have a choice?
How the weather will be
What to wear to school
Whom to play with
Who your teacher will be
Where you live
How old you are
Whether or not to study for a test
Note: See Appendix: "There Are Several Ways of Making Decisions."
PROBLEMS IN AND OUT OF SCHOOL (4)
Discuss with the class: How would you solve these problems?

You are in a big department store. You can't find your mother (or father).
Somebody at school says you did something wrong. You didn't do it.
You get home and can't remember if you have any homework.
You are in a phone booth. You want to call your father at work. You don't know the phone number. You have enough money to make one phone call.
You find your little brother playing with some pills from the medicine cabinet. He has two in his mouth.
A stranger offers you some candy and a ride.

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GROWING UP MEANS ACCEPTING MORE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

Purpose:
To help children recognize that freedom and responsibility are both part of growing up and to help them deal with the feelings caused by the tension between the two.
Note: Children are proud of the responsibilities they carry at home and at school. Discussion of each child's personal tasks easily leads into lessons devoted to cqncepts commonly taught as part of health. Units on nutrition in which children have the opportunity to cook simple foods are quite successful. Children can increase their sense of personal responsibility by learning about first aid and poison prevention and by knowing emergency telephone numbers and simple skills for child care.
Resource: "Must I/May I" and "I Want To," part of the Inside/Out Film Series produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available from the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education Film Library.
ACTIVITIES
RESPONSI BILITY
1. Discuss with the group the meaning of the word "responsibility."
2. Choose players for "Gail" and "Janice" and enact the following scene. (2)
Let's suppose there was a girl named Janice who helped out in the fourth grade. Now, Miss Blue, the teacher, asked Janice to check the spelling papers every day. One day Janice's friend Gail, who was in the fourth grade class, saw Janice on the playground before school. Gail told Janice that her father had promised to give her a dollar if she had 100 on her spelling papers every day for a whole week, and with 100

on today's spelling paper, she would get the dollar. She promised to share the dollar with Janice if, when Janice marked the papers, she would make sure Gail got 100. VVhat happened then?
Suggested discussion:
Janice, how did you feel when Gail asked you to help her? Gail, how did you feel about asking Janice to do this for you? VVould you have made the same decision Janice did? VVhy or why not?
Could the scene have ended some other way? Choose a new cast to play some alternate endings suggested by the class.
3. Ask children to make a list of the responsibilities required of them. Ask one or several girls to debate with one or several boys whether the tasks should be done only by one sex. (7)
Examples:
Girls should always have to baby-sit, wash dishes and cook.
Boys should always have to mow the lawn, carry out the garbage, bring in the groceries and run errands.
4. Discuss with the children how it is decided who does what task in your family. (You might ask the children to discuss this question at home with family and then compare responses in a group discussion.) (7)
ON YOUR OVVN
1. Read "On Your Own" (see appendix). Discuss with the class:
How does it feel to be on your own? VVhat are the advantages and disadvantages?

25

Sometimes it is fun to be on your own. What are some of the things you can do on your own without supervision?
2. Note: The following activity is a two-part exercise. You may want to do it over a two-day
period. It allows children to experience two extremes: having too much responsibility (part 1) and not having any responsibility (part 2). Allow some time for children to compare the two experiences. (7)
Part 1 - Too Much Responsibility:
Tell your class that at the end of one hour certain things must be done so that they can have recess, free time, PE, etc. Give them an important written assignment, but before anyone can complete the assignment, assign another task to be completed within the hour. Stop the children for desk cleaning; ask individual children to do jobs; interrupt with announcements; assign another task. Constantly remind children of the time limit. At the end of the time, discuss:
You were asked to do many things within an hour. How did you feel?
How did you feel towards me (teacher)?
How do you think I (teacher) felt asking you to do so many things?
What could we do in our class if this happened every day?
Part 2 - No Responsibility
Tell children that they must ask permission to do things they ordinarily take for granted and take away individual responsibilities for classroom duties (e.g., sharpening pencils, doing things in their free time, getting books, going to the restroom, collecting money, running errands, getting a drink of water, etc.). At recess, do not allow the children to play any games that require equipment "because it is too dangerous." Remember to refuse all requests for responsibilities, but have an answer when refusing.

Discuss:
How did you feel when you had to ask permission to do things?
How did you feel when you were not allowed to do your ordinarily assumed responsibilities?
How did you feel when you couldn't play with any equipment because it was "too dangerous"?
What could you do in your class if this happened every day?

26

FEELINGS
TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE BE MORE ACCEPTING OF ALL FEELINGS
To identify feelings To accept all feelings as legitimate To claim feelings rather than camouflage them To recognize personal responsibility in choosing how to act on a feeling

EMOTIONS ARE NORMAL

Purpose: To help children appreciate emotional needs as normal and the different ways people satisfy emotional needs.
ACTIVITIES
EMOTIONS ARE ... (5) Discuss with the group what emotions are. List emotional needs -love, security, belonging, etc.
SATISFYING NEEDS (5) Have the group list ways that needs are satisfied. Who satisfies these needs? What can one do to satisfy the needs? Consider ways to satisfy emotions constructively and destructively.
LOVE IS... (5) Ask each child to make a two-column list of ways we are shown love and ways we can show others we love them. Discuss.
ANGER 1. Ask each child to complete the open-ended
sentences below. Discuss with the group: (9) Some things that make me angry are... A person can make me angry when he... Something that frustrates me often is... The first thing I do when I'm angry is... When I am angry, sometimes it helps to... People who get angry all the time do not understand . . .

Too much anger and frustration can ...
2. Discuss with the class: What are some good (constructive) ways to handle anger? What are some bad (destructive) ways?
Discuss with the group: What would be your first reaction in the following situations? (8)
Your little brother scribbled on your finished homework.
Your parent accuses you of taking some money you didn't even know was around.
Your pals went off to the movies without you after they said they would wait for you.
You had to clean the basement, although the other kids went off to play ball.
You saw a student copying during a test while you were struggling to remember the answers.
You found one of the neighborhood bullies picking on your little brother.
Your teacher accused you of causing trouble in class, although you were really not involved in it.
You discovered someone had let the air out of your bicycle tires while you were in the store. Mom was in a hurry for you to get home, too.
Your sister got up earlier than you did and wore the blouse you had planned to wear.
Someone picked up the fresh clay model you had just completed and ruined it.
The teacher told you to be quiet, but other people were talking louder than you.
The ball game has been rained out and you don't know how to spend your Saturday afternoon.

29

EVERYONE HAS EMOTIONS

Purpose:
To help children to be sensitive to the feelings of others, and to appreciate that other people sometimes experience the same feelings that they experience.
Note: These activities help children to understand moods, and to accept different moods in themselves and others.
ACTIVITIES
ANALYZING MOOD PICTURES (5)
Give children an opportunity to view "mood pictures." Discuss the following questions:
What do you think might have happened?
How does this person feel?
How would you feel?
Have you ever felt this way?
What would you do if this happened to you?
MOOD COLLAGES (5)
Ask each child to make a collage out of magazine pictures depicting her current mood. How does she feel right now? Do not use words. She should not tell this mood to her classmates or the teacher. If the child agrees, his completed collage may be shared with the other children. They may guess how this child is feeling from the project. Include in the "All About Me" folder.
WORRIES (9)
Ask each child to complete the following sentences. Include in the "All About Me" folder.
Things that bother me on the playground are . . .

Some of my home and neighborhood worries are . . .
Something that bothers me most of the time is . . .
Sometimes I worry about. ..
FEELINGS OF OTHERS (9)
Read the following situations to the children and ask them to identify how the person felt. Other situations can be added that would be pertinent to the group.
Joe had just moved to a new neighborhood. The moving van had not arrived, so he had no toys to play with. He did not know any of the boys and girls in the neighborhood yet. Joe might have felt. .. Because...
Sally's mother was having company to supper. She told Sally to come into the house at 5:00 o'clock. Sally did not watch the time, and she was more than an hour late. When she came into the living room, the guests were there. Sally's mother sent her to her room. Sally might have felt. .. Because...
Sarah was starting to a new school. She did not know where her room was. She did not know who her teacher was, and she did not know any of the boys and girls. Sarah might have felt. .. Because...
Cindy could not swim. She watned to learn, so she first practiced floating. When she sank, her friends would laugh. Cindy kept on trying though, until she could float across the pool and back. Now, Cindy probably feels...
When John did not get the bike he wanted for Christmas, he became angry and would not look at his other presents. When he realized that he had hurt his mother's feelings by acting this way, he might have felt. .. Because...
Do you think people ever have the same feelings? Why?

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FEELINGS AFFECT THE BODY

Purpose:
To help children become more aware of the feelings associated with tension and relaxation.
Resource: "Strong Feelings," part of the Inside/Out Film Series produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available through the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia Department of Education Film Library. The Inside/Out Teacher's Manual includes suggested follow-up activities.
ACTIVITIES
BODY RELAXATION (3)
1. Have children form a circle and stand comfortably about at arm's length from one another. Tell them to take a deep breath and hold it. Then tell them to lock their elbows and knees and to tighten their muscles as hard as they can until they can feel the strain in their necks, shoulders, arms, hands, stomachs, thighs, calves and toes. Have them hold the position for several seconds, reminding them to strain their muscles as hard as they can.
Now ask them to exhale slowly and to sigh while they slowly release their muscles to a relaxed state. Repeat this procedure.
Then have them sit on the floor and ask them to take a deep breath. Tell them to pull themselves into a ball (sitting with arms locked tightly around legs, head tucked down) and to flex and strain their muscles as hard as they can. Have them hold this position for several seconds. Tell them to start relaxing by slowly exhaling and sighing and then slowly unfolding themselves until they are lying relaxed on the floor. Allow them a few moments to enjoy their relaxation.

While students are on the floor, turn the lights down and, if possible, play soft music. Ask them to close their eyes and imagine they are walking in the woods. Allow them to daydream for about five to ten minutes. At different points you can make the following suggestions:
Think about what kind of day this is, what the weather is like, how you feel inside.
. Imagine that you come across a brook.
Imagine that you come into a clearing with tall grass and wild flowers. You lie down in the grass. Imagine the smells and sounds.
At the end of the daydream, encourage the childreh to discuss the experience. The following questions may help:
How does your body feel when you are tense? When you are relaxed?
How did you feel while you were daydreaming?
What did you see, hear, smell? What happened in your daydream?
2. Ask children to listen carefully to the list of objects and events you are going to read to them. Ask them to picture each one in their minds and to use their bodies to show whether that object or event makes them relax or tense up: a soft, furry kitten a warm, sunny day at the beach a loud bang a nice, soft bed a sharp knife walking barefoot in the grass losing your shoes a final test in spelling walking barefoot on a hot sidewalk a teacher yelling

The Activities under this concept are reprinted with permission from the TAD Program, American Guidance Service, Inc.

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daydreaming about vacation ice cream spinach walking with your best friend a pillow a trip to the moon watching a scary movie After reading the list, ask: What happens to your body when you think of pleasant things? When you think of unpleasant things? 3. Discuss with the class: Sometimes tension can interfere with how well we do something (e.g., take a test, playa game, etc.). Ask the children to sit quietly and think about their favorite place or something they really enjoy doing. Allow several minutes, then ask:.
Did it work? Are you relaxed? Would anyone like to share his or her daydream? Before their next test or before they start some other type of tension-producing activity, ask them to practice relaxing for three to five minutes. Don't be surprised if some children ask for daydreaming sessions to help them relax anq calm down at other times.
32

WE SHOW FEELINGS IN MANY WAYS

Purpose:
To help children understand how people express what they are really thinking and feeling and to help them become aware of how they themselves express feelings in their own ways.
Note: When we have strong feelings, sometimes we are able to accept the feelings - to admit what our true feelings are. But often we deny our feelings and pretend that we feel differently from the way we really feel inside. This exercise will help children recognize acceptance and denial in themselves and in others.
Resource: "How Do You Show," a part of the
Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television, available through the Georgia Educational TV Network and the State Department of Education Film Library. Other films in this series which deal with feelings include "Living With Love, " "Lost
is a Feeling" and "A Sense of Joy."
ACTIVITIES
HOW DO YOU SHOW FEELINGS?
1. On a 3" x 5" card, write names of emotions (one to a card). Also, each card will ,have a short list of "tools" that can be used to express the emotion without talking. Give each child a card to act out the emotion using the tools described. The group, or a partner, tries to guess the emotion being expressed. (5)
The tools include:
touching moving eyebrows making noise without using the voice using the voice without words moving the head using feet etc.

As a variation, give each child a card with only the emotion indicated (no "tools"). Ask each child to act out the emotion nonverbally for the class or for a partner, using his own ideas.
2. Playa game of charades. One child is given a card with a feeling written at the top so that her teammates do not see the word. She expresses that feeling without using the specific word. Her team discusses the possibilities and then makes a guess. (7)
3. As a group, do body movements with a music background. For example, mimic animal movements: cows, snakes, porcupines, horses, pigs, etc. Show how a person moves when angry, sad, excited, afraid, happy, etc.
ACCEPTING FEELINGS (3)
Discuss with the children the difference between "acceptance" and "denial" of feelings. Read the situations below. Read the first situation and identify the "accepting response" and the "denying response" as an example. For the remaining four situations, read each situation and responses, but ask the children to identify which response is "accepting" and which is "denying."
You used to do well in science, but lately you've been doing poorly.
Accepting response: I am disappointed and discouraged, too. Denying response: I don't care anyway!
The teacher just yelled at you for not paying attention.
Accepting response: My feelings are hurt. And I'm embarrassed. Denying response: The teacher didn't really mean it.
Your poem won first prize. Accepting response: I'm really glad. Denying response: It wasn't that good.

33

Someone just took your new bike without your permission.
Accepting response: I don't like it at all. Denying response: Oh, it doesn't matter. Someone just cheated in the game. Accepting response: I'm mad when somebody doesn't play by the rules. Denying response: What's the difference? Now read the next five situations. Ask the children to volunteer examples of "accepting" and "denying" responses. Your best friend just moved away from your school. Your friends won't let you play in their game. You've been chosen for an important part in the Christmas play. You just cheated on a test. Someone spilled paint on your new shirt on purpose.
34

BEHAVIOR AFFECTS FEELINGS

Purpose:
To help children understand how other's actions affect their feelings and how their actions affect other's feelings.
Note: Children learn by watching adults in real
situations. This is an example of using a naturally
occuring "teachable moment" to model some of the behaviors (e.g., sharing feelings, problem solving) demonstrated in other activities.
ACTIVITIES
BEHAVIOR AFFECTS FEELINGS (3)
During an academic period (or a craft period), deliberately increase the number of times you offer praise and encouragement for cooperation, effective performance, positive attitudes, etc., and ignore (as much as possible) undesirable behavior.
After an hour, at some convenient breaking point, ask children to share their feelings. Discuss with them:
Do you think your feelings are related to anything I've been doing?
Do you think your feelings are related to anything you've been doing?
Help them see the connection between your behavior and their feelings and vice versa.

HERE AND NOW FEELINGS (3)
At some time when things are not going well and children seem to be working against each other, stop whatever activity is going on. Share your feelings with the children. (Note: "I'm feeling frustrated because we don't seem to be working well together today" is sharing feelings. "You kids are driving me crazy!" is blaming the children for the way you feel).
Let them know that your feelings do not stem only from the way things are going in the group at any particular time. Explain that sometimes you have problems at home or at work that are not related to anything that happens in the group.
After you have shared your feelings, ask the children to share feelings and any ideas they have about why things are going so badly. Ask for suggestions to improve the situation.

The Activities under this concept are reprinted with permission from the TAD Program, American Guidance Service, Inc.
35

EMOTIONAL NEEDS CAN BE SATISFIED IN DIFFERENT WAYS

Purpose:
To help children understand their own methods for dealing with emotional stress, explore alternative ways of dealing with stress and to differentiate between constructive and destructive methods.
ACTIVITIES
SHOWING ANGER (5)
Ask each child to answer the questions below about anger. Discuss with the group:
There are many ways a person can show he is angry. How do you show your anger?
Does your way of showing anger usually help you to feel better afterwards?
If not, how else might you show anger?

The words "happy," "sad," or "frightened" can be substituted for the word "anger" in these questions. Discuss with the class.
FIGHTING
Discuss why we fight and what fighting accomplishes. What are the alternatives when someone fights?
FEELINGS - CAUSES AND ACTIONS (9)
Ask each child to mark her paper into three columns:
Feelings What Caused It What I Did About It
Using this chart, ask each child to keep a record of his feelings for one week. At the end of each week, share records in a circle or in small groups of children. Include in the "All About Me" folder.

36

EMOTIONAL STRESS HAS MANY SOURCES

Purpose: To help children begin to identify their personal sources of stress.
ACTIVITIES
OPEN-ENDED SENTENCES (9) Ask each child to complete the open-ended sentences below. Discuss with the class:
Some things that make me angry are... A person can make me angry when he... Something that frustrates me often is... I am sick and tired of... The thing about school that bothers me most is... I don't think it is fair that I am expected to... If I could change anything I wanted to, I would . . .

I wish people would stop telling me... As soon as I am old enough, I am going to ... I don't know why I am not allowed to... I'm tired of spending so much time... The thing that bothers me most is... I think I might really lose my temper the next time . . . I get depressed when... I really get nervous when... An important thing about me that nobody seems to realize is... I wish I had more control over my own life in the area of... I feel jealous when ... I hope it doesn't happen, but I am afraid that. ..

37

PEOPLE CAN CHOOSE TO REACT DIFFERENTLY TO A STRESSFUL SITUATION

Purpose:
To help children deal with feelings of anxiety and insecurity.
To help children explore ways to handle unexpected situations which can generate feelings of disappointment, loss and insecurity.
ACTIVITIES
ANXIETY AND INSECURITY
1. Discuss with the group: We all feel anxious sometimes. What is "anxiety?" How does it feel? What are some things that make us feel anxious?
2. Discuss headaches or stomach aches and how they represent anxiety. Then find solutions. Ask children if they have ever had a headache on test day.
3. Read "The Overnight" (see Appendix). Discuss:
What do you think Karen decided to do?
Have you felt like Karen? What did you do?
4. Role Play: Divide the class into five groups. Ask each group to role playa stressful situation ending with a solution. Discuss how the actors solved the problem. (5)
UNEXPECTED CIRCUMSTANCES (5)
To help children adjust to unexpected circumstances, ask them to show how they feel doing an activity such as walking to the store to buy a treat. Then ask them to show how they feel when they drop their money and lose it on the way to the store. You might conti nue the discussion with what one could do to prevent such a problem.

Another situation miyht be:
A child walks along a line acting happy. He falls off. How does he act?
Johnny is excited because his parents are taking him and his sister to the circus. Just before they are ready to leave, his sister becomes ill and they cannot go. How does Johnny feel then? How can he handle his feelings? How would you feel? What would you do?
WISHES TAKEN AWAY (5)
Ask the children to think of what they would ask for if they could be granted one wish. Have each child express her wish verbally by pantomine, or through drawings, etc. Then ask her to react to having her wish taken away before she could enjoy it. Discuss.
WHAT I MIGHT DO IF... (5)
Ask each child to give a "What I might do if..." impromptu speech. Example: What I might do if:
My father lost his job. I forgot my homework. My brother hit me. My parents were divorced.
Discuss.

38

BEING WITH OTHERS
(Interpersonal Relationships)
TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE FORM MORE SATISFYING PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
To express feelings and needs verbally to others and to feel less scared and anxious in doing so To accept the feelings and needs of others as important to them To negotiate productively where a conflict of needs exists

RESPECT FOR THE DIFFERENCES IN PEOPLE IS IMPORTANT

Purpose:
To help children appreciate the feelings generated by discrimination and prejudice.
Resource: "But Names Will Never Hurt?", part of the Inside/Out Film Series produced by the Agency for Instructional Television, available through the Georgia Department of Education Film Library and the Georgia Educational TV Network.
ACTIVITIES
STEREOTYPING (9)
The teacher and children prepare several containers of gelatin, all unflavored. (The children don't know it is unflavored). Each container is then colored differently to suggest flavors (red for cherry, green for lime, yellow for lemon, etc.). Line the containers up on a table and place a ballot box behind each container. Blank pieces of paper are placed in front of each container.
Each child chooses one container, tastes its contents (a supply of plastic spoons should be provided), writes down her guess as to the flavor, and deposits it in the ballot box. The teacher then discloses that all containers of gelatin are unflavored. Teacher and children then tabulate the results of the balloting.
General discussion follows concerning the way we judge things by their appearance. Extend the discussion to include people. Ask children to consider the fairness of judging people by their appearances and to consider the problems that might result. Conclude with the observation that all people are different, that each person deserves to be respected as a unique individual, and that appearances are not a reliable method of jUdgment.
STEREOTYPING MEN AND WOMEN
1. Ask children to read several fairy tales and

notice the roles played by men and women (and girls and boys) in the stories. Each child can pick one character and play a game of charades. The other children try to guess whether the character is male or female. After each role play, discuss:
What was it that made the children decide the character's gender? Was it a "stereotype" reaction? For example, if someone played Cinderella by sweeping, did the children guess "female" because sweeping and house cleaning are stereotyped female roles?
If possible, try to guess the character. To what extent does the character have typical male or female role characteristics?
2. Give children this brief attitude survey and ask them to indicate whether they agree or disagree. For each item, ask for a show of hands for those who "agree" and those who "disagree." Keep a tabulation. Allow some time ~fter each item for a volunteer from each position to make his case. If some issues are particularly controversial, you may want to set up a debate involving as many children as possible.
Women (girls) are more emotional than men (boys).
Men (boys) should not cry in pUblic.
Men should support the family.
Women should stay home and take care of the children.
It is more important that men go to college than that women go to college.
Men (boys) should not have to do housework.
Men and women (boys and girls) should not compete together in sports events.

41

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3. Read "Housework" (see Appendix). Discuss with the children:
Should men do housework? (This can build into the attitude survey just listed).
Why does the poem suggest that husbands and wives do housework together? Do you agree or disagree?
Note: This poem could also be used to trigger a
discussion on advertising and how it influences our buying by creating unreal images.

PREJUDICE (3)
1. At the beginning of the day, divide the children into two groups. Give each child in one group a blue tag and each child in the other group a green tag. Have them pin the tags to their clothing.
After distributing the tags, tell the children: "People with blue tags are the smartest, best, most capable people. But people with green tags are not able to do anything right." Be sure to explain to the children that this is an experiment and that the groups will change places later.
Change the seating arrangement so that the favored group (blue tags) sits close to you and the out group (green tags) sits away from you and apart from the favored group. Praise the efforts and successful behavior of the favored group, but ignore the efforts and call critical attention to the errors of the out group.
At the end of the first two-hour period, have children exchange tags. Have the new favored group (blue tags) sit close to you as before. During the next two hours, repeat the above procedure; that is, often praise and encourage the favored group, but be hypercritical and insensitive toward the out group (green tags).
You might write down some of the significant statements and happenings yourself so that you can refer to them during discussion later.
At the end of the fourth hour, collect the tags. Have the children talk about their experiences, using the following questions to guide the discussion:
When you were wearing a green tag and were part of the out group:
How did you feel about the way you were being treated by me? By the people wearing the blue tags? By other people wearing green tags?
Did you ever feel angry at the group wearing the blue tags? At me?

42

Even though you were not really inferior, did our treatment make you begin to feel that maybe you actually were inferior?
Then when you put on a blue tag and became a member of the favored group, did your feelings change? How?
When you were wearing a blue tag and were part of the favored group:
How did you feel about the way you were being treated by me? By the people wearing the green tags? By other people wearing blue tags?
Did you find yourself feeling angry or disgusted?
Did you ever feel that the people wearing the green tags really were or might be inferior to you?
Then when you put on a green tag and became a member of the out group, did your feelings change? How?
When we treat a group of people as if they were inferior, how do they usually act and feel?
2. Suggested discussion questions:
Does brown hair make someone better than you?
Is my way the best way of doing things?
Is my language the best language?
Is my color of skin the best color to have?
LEFT OUT (7)
Divide the children into groups of five. After the grouping is complete, tell the class that any group with five members no longer qualifies - they must now make groups of four. (There will be feelings of rejection; some will try to solve the problem by using "one potato, two potato"; some will volunteer to leave; some may assume leadership and

exclude another child). After the selection takes place, ask the following questions:
How did you feel when asked to get into groups of five?
How did you feel when asked to reduce your group from five to four?
How did you feel when you found that you were still in the group? (Ask only those in the original group).
How did you feel when you were rejected? (Ask those who had to leave the original group).

43

CHANGES IN RELATIONSHIPS BRING MANY FEELINGS

Purpose:
To help children consider the experience of moving in terms of feelings of loss and separation, of possible gain and improvement.
Note: Never before in our history have families
moved so often. Families encounter a broad
range of social and work demands as they move from one community to another. Most children will experience a move dUring their childhood. These activities provide an opportunity to explore ways of adjusting to moving. Children can learn to deal with feelings of separation, loneliness, fear, anticipation, opportunity, curiosity and the excitements of moving.
Resource: "Traveling Shoes" and "Lost is a
Feeling," part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available through the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education Film Library.

ACTIVITIES

MOVING (7)

1. Children usually have no choice but to move when their parents decide to do so. Ask the children to consider:

I would feel because...

if I had to move,

If my family had to move, the thing that would bother me most is...

The thing that would excite me most is...

2. Ask volunteers to role play: If you were a parent, how would you explain moving to another community to your children or to one of your friends?

3. Ask children to consider moving to a new neighborhood, going to a new school and making new friends. Discuss:
Are you a person who makes new friends quickly?
What are some things you would be willing to try to help you make new friends?
Would you want to stay in touch with the friends you left behind? If so, how could you do that?
4. Ask children to select any place in the world where they would like to live and ask them to find pictures of the area they've chosen. Develop a unit with the children about:
How a move can change one's life style: (clothes, food, pace of life). (This could be a good topic for social studies class).
How a move to a new climate or environment makes a difference. (This could be a good topic for geography class).
How special health problems in the area can be handled. What preventive or protective measures can be taken. (This could be a good topic for health class).
Purpose:
To help children recognize and develop some understanding of emotions in a separation or divorce.
Resource: "Breakup," part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available through the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education Film Library.

44

ACTIVITIES
DIVORCE
Read the story, "Once Upon a Time There Was a Divorce" (see Appendix). Discuss the following questions:
What does divorce mean?
What are the reasons for divorce?
What were Janey's feelings toward divorce?
What was Janey's behavior toward divorce?
What were the reasons for Janey's behavior?
How would you feel if you were in a similar situation?
Suggested follow-up: Ask children to role play the main characters in "Once Upon a Time There Was a Divorce." Spend some time exploring the feelings of the different characters in the story.
Note: Point out to children during the discussion that often parents disagree - and may even raise their voices in anger - but it doesn't mean they are planning to get a divorce.

ACTIVITIES
DEATH
Read "Buttons" (see Appendix). Suggested discussion questions:
How do you think Louie feels?
How did other people help? What were they feeling?
What does death mean to you?
Has a pet or a person close to you ever died? How did you feel? How did you show your feelings?
Can a person always tell someone else exactly how he feels?
If you can't talk about feelings, how else can they be expressed?
Is it all right for boys and men to cry?
Can a person live in your memory?
How do people help each other with feelings?

Purpose: To help children explore the meaning of death and to help them develop ways of dealing with the feelings brought about by the death of a person or a pet they love. Resource: "In My Memory," a part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available through the Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education.
45

TIME BY YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT

Purpose:
To help children recognize a person's need to be alone as well as to be with others, and to help them discover the value of solitude.
Resource: "Jeff's Company," part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available through the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education Film Library.
ACTIVITIES
ALONE
1. Hand out to children the following list of questions, telling them: Some of these questions may apply to you and some may not. You may or may not want to share your thoughts.
What does "being alone" mean to you? How do you feel about being alone? What is the difference between "being alone" and "being lonely"?
Why is "being alone" sometimes a good feeling and sometimes a bad feeling?
Is it easy for you to find a place to be alone or is it hard for you to find a place to be alone? Why?
Do you enjoy being alone? Why? What are some of the things you can do alone?
Would you rather be alone or with friends? Why?
Why do you sometimes feel lonely in a crowd? Why are some persons afraid of being left alone?
What can a person do to have some time alone? What can a person do to avoid being alone?

2. Ask the children to make a list of five to ten things they love to do. Put a "P" beside each thing they prefer to do with people (or at least one other person) and put an "A" beside each thing they prefer to do alone. ("A/P" if there is no preference). Ask each child to notice whether the things she loves to do are more often "People" things or "Alone" things. Help children appreciate that some people need or want more time alone than others.
3. Suggest that children take a walk by themselves in the near future. The next time the children are together, ask them to express their feelings about the walk in some creative way.
Suggest to the children: Doing things by yourself can increase your sense of beauty, wonder and self-fulfillment. Try some of these suggestions and see which ones you enjoy:
daydream work on your hobby read do something you especially like observe visit a museum listen to music take a walk sit quietly and think write paint

46

SHARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS IS PART OF MAKING FRIENDS

Purpose:
To help children begin to appreciate the process of getting to know each other as a way of sharing information that we choose to disclose and accepting what others disclose about themselves to us.
ACTIVITIES
NAME TAG EXERCISE
Note to teachers or group leaders: This is a good
exercise for the first day of school or first times that groups are meeting together.
Provide the children with different colored sheets of construction paper (8W' x 5W'). Ask each child to take one sheet, any color he chooses. These are the steps in making a creative name tag:
Use a marker or crayon to print your name the name you want to be called - in the center of the page.
In the top right corner, print what you wantto be when you grow up.
L ,le top left corner, print your favorite time of year (e.g., summer, Christmas).
At the bottom, answer: If you had one wish, what would it be?
Around your name (in any free space) put three things you like to do.
Decorate your name tag in any way you choose (draw flowers, scenes, people). Do not cover the information on your card.
Ask children to walk around looking at others' name tags and sharing their messages. After five to ten minutes, ask each child to pick someone in the room he does not know very well and would like to know better. (Be sure everyone is chosen).

Allow a few minutes to share name tags and get acquainted.
Suggested follow-up questions:
What made you choose the person you chose?
What is important to know about someone that you might want to choose for a friend?
What is important for someone to know about you?
Name tags can go in the "All About Me" folder.

47

FRIENDSHIPS NEED NURTURING

Purpose:
To help children appreciate the meaning of friendship and to provide an opportunity for children to explore their abilities to make friends and to be a friend.
ACTIVITIES
WANTED - A FRIEND (5)
Ask each child to write a want-ad for a friend. Include all the desired characteristics. After children have completed the assignment, ask them if they would hire themselves for the position. Include this ad in the "All About Me" folder.
HOW NOT TO BE A FRIEND (5)
Ask children to role play all the things they could do that would guarantee that they would never have friends. Discuss.
WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP?
Read "Glad to Have a Friend Like You" (see Appendix). Discuss the attitudes that are important in a friendship (e.g., forgiving, keeping confidences, observing privacy, or avoiding possessiveness).

WHAT FRIENDS DO (5)
Ask each child to draw a picture to illustrate activities friends enjoy together.
FAVORITE CHARACTER (5)
Read a story to the class and ask them to choose a favorite character. Ask: Would you like this person to be your friend? Each child writes a paragraph on why or why not she would like the character for a friend.

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48

YOU INFLUENCE RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR FAMILY

Purpose:
To help children recognize and cope with parental misunderstanding and mistreatment, and to help them understand how both parents and children can unintentionally cause conflicts even in a loving family.
Note: Sometimes family conflicts occur when two people in very different moods collide. One person may feel tired and irritable, while the other person is feeling energetic and wants to share the energy, give attention and be received with enthusiasm. These exercises help children accept such periodic collisions as "natural" and respond to their own feelings when they feel mistreated or misunderstood.
Resource: "Love Susan,"part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available from the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education Film Library.
ACTIVITIES
FAMILY CONFLICTS
Ask for volunteers to role play the following situations:
Mother comes home from work with a splitting headache and feeling very tired. Child has waited excitedly for mother to come in so he can show the mother a special picture he has painted. Child asks mother to come to his room. Mother is irritated, and doesn't want to be bothered right now.
Child wakes up in a bad mood. She has a hard time getting out of bed and is running late for school. Father teases her about her bad mood, then begins to rush her so she will be at school on time.

After each role play, discuss the following:
What did you hear the parent saying? What was the parent feeling?
What did you hear the child saying? What was the child feeling?
Were the parent and child saying what they were feeling?
In what ways would you react differently if you had been the parent? The child?
What similar situations have you had in your family?
When situations such as this arise in the future, will there by any changes in your reactions? Explain.
RUNNING AWAY
Note: If it becomes apparent during discussion
that a child is being physically or mentally abused
at home, you may elect to intervene. Mistreated children should be referred to someone qualified to deal with such problems.
An important factor to remember is that you must be able to distinguish between truth and fantasy the child who is battered and the child who thinks he is battered. Both children have problems, however, and should receive help.
Many states have passed laws which require teachers, social workers, physicians and others to report suspected instances of child abuse and neglect to designated agencies. Each teacher should become familiar with the status and requirements of "battered child" legislation in Georgia.
Resource: "Home Sweet Home," part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and avail-

49

able through the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education Film Library. Consult the Inside/Out Film Series Teacher's Manual for important follow-up.
1. Ask the children to share times when they felt like running away from home. How did they feel? Where did they stay? (If someone actually ran away, you may want to provide the opportunity for him to share his experiences and feelings).
2. Give the children the following list of partially completed sentences. Ask them to choose one

and complete the thought. Some may wish to use their own topics. (7)
If I were a mother (or father), I would treat my child ...
The difference between someone's disciplining me and mistreating me is...
If you were my real friend, you would run away with me because...
If I sUddenly did not have a home, I would ...

50

YOUR ACTIONS AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE

Purpose:
To enable children to recognize when they should give or receive help, and to assist them in understanding the feelings that result from helping someone or from being helped by another person.
Note: These activities will encourage children to recognize their own feelings: when they offer to help others; when they receive help from others; when they don't help but should; and when they are not expected to help but do.
Children often fail to consider the negative aspects of help - the help that makes them feel small
or unimportant or forces them into a dependent
role. If children are to answer the question "When to Help," they should be aware of the positive and negative consequences.
ACTIVITIES
HELPING (7)
Note: The following activity is designed to help children experience the feeling of being needed by others and to recognize that when others do not need help, you are not necessarily being rejected.
1. Prepare pins and pieces of paper with letters of the alphabet on each piece of paper. (Be sure to have several vowels and consonants to form many words). Each child receives one letter to pin on his chest. Then ask the children to form many words with the letters available. Tell the children they are not to talk as they form words.
Play the game twice; the second time tell the children they may talk to each other to form words. Discuss with the class what happened. (The discussion that follows will focus on the issue of performing a task in which one is needed or not needed).

2. Set up a "voting exercise." Read the following situations and ask children to raise their hands if they agree, point thumbs down if they disagree, and fold their arms if they are undecided.
You should help break up a fight.
You should help a handicapped person across the street.
You should help your father by doing errands for him.

51

You should help your mother by babysitting with a younger brother or sister.
You should help carry the groceries for your mother.
You should help persons whose skin is a different color from yours.
You should help your mother on Saturdays.
For each situation, ask children who agree and disagree to volunteer their reasons. If some situations seem controversial, set up a debate between representatives of the opposing positions.
3. Ask children to think of situations in which they want to help others but are hesitant because they have been taught not to help when there is the possibility of danger. For example:
A stranger comes to your door to ask permission to use your telephone because he has run out of gas and you are the only one at home.
You have gone bicycling with a friend and your friend has an accident. You think your friend's leg is broken. You know not to move him, but there isn't anyone else around to help.
Discuss each incident by answering questions such as:
What do you do? Should you help or should you not help?
Then discuss each incident as if you were the one in need of help.
4. It would be fun to build something in your room as a class project to experience help. For example: an imaginary community animal cages a space ship
5. To help children see and experience whether they will go out of their way to help someone in

need, you could stage a heated argument and have observers record the results.
Select five children to participate in this experiment. Be very careful in your selection. Take the five aside and ask two of the children to stage a heated argument in the classroom and ask the three others to observe. Tell them they must not tell anyone what they are doing - no matter what. Prepare the five for possible reactions from the other children. Then give the following instructions to the arguers and observers:
Arguers: Plan how you are to start your argument and how you will involve the others. You do not want to be unconvincing or hurt one another. It is important that you be convincing.
Observers: Prepare a list of facts you want to record. For example, did anyone stop the fight? Did anyone go for help? Did anyone think it was funny?
Did anyone look scared or worried? Did anyone cry? Did anyone do nothing?
Did anyone stand around the arguers? Did anyone keep his seat?
Did anyone say, "They better stop"? Did anyone say, "Don't stop them, let them argue"?
Did anyone try to stop someone from helping?
After the five receive their instructions, the teacher should leave the room so that the heated argument can begin. When the dispute is stopped, get the children into a group to begin your discussion. You may choose to wait until later in the discussion to explain that the argument was staged and what the observers learned. Feelings of the arguers, observers and class members should be discussed. Many children will learn how willing they are to help others.

52

Purpose:
To help children become aware of the effect their words and actions can have on other people, and to help them understand how they might hurt others.
Note: The next two activities deal with patterns of behavior that have become stereotyped in our society. Each has a low probability of success as
a means of establishing warm human relation-
ships. Teachers may want to plan on an extended unit about successful and unsuccessful ways of developing personal relationships. This might include materials from Eric Berne's "Games People Play."
Resource: "Bully" and "Just Joking," part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television and available through the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia Department of Education Film Library.
ACTIVITIES
BULLYING
Read "Billy's Problem" (see Appendix). In addition to the questions at the end of the story, discuss with the class:
What is a "bully"?
Why do some people enjoy behaving this way?
What can you do about a bully?
Have you ever been a bully to someone else?
JOKING (7)
Ask the children to get in a comfortable position. Tell them to close their eyes and then read to them these lyrics:
"Just joking, only joking, joking's a lot of fun, Just joking, only joking, except if you hurt
someone."

"Do you think it's always smart, to playa joke or two?
Tell me how you really feel, when a joke is played on you."
Discussion:
Why do people play jokes on each other?
Why are some people always the brunt of the joke?
Why do some people feel that they are always the brunt of the joke?
Discuss some harmful effects of a joke. (Examples: the possibility of broken glasses, tacks placed on someone's seat, a BB gun accidentally going off and hitting someone in the eye).
Discuss some beneficial effects of a joke.
When is a joke fun? When is a joke cruel?

53

PRESSURE FROM OTHERS CAN INFLUENCE YOUR BEHAVIOR

Purpose:
To help children make wise decisions in the face of conflicting emotions and group pressure.
Resource: "I Dare You" and "Buy and Buy," part of the Inside/Out Film Series, produced by the Agency for Instructional Television, and available from the Georgia Educational TV Network and the Georgia State Department of Education Film Library.

ACTIVITIES
Note: This exercise can be a catalyst for considering a number of "group pressure" situations that
children face. For example, you can talk about the pressure from television commercials to buy the advertised product; you can discuss the subtle pressures on us to wear certain "in" styles, and more overt pressures to do things that we think will help us be accepted by others (e.g., smoking, trying drugs, speeding, etc.)

GROUP PRESSURE
Tell the class that you are going to conduct an experiment on perception. You may have to explain the meaning of the word. Divide the class into groups of five. For each group, prepare two cards: Card A is 8W' x 5W'. Through the middle of the card, draw a line the entire width (8'W'). Card B is 11" x 8W'. Through the middle, draw a line 5" long. Be sure the card is turned so that the long edge (11 ") is the width.

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For each group, pass the cards to each child. They can compare the cards, but they cannot touch the cards together in any way. Tell each child to write on a piece of paper which line she thinks is longer (Card A or Card B). Children cannot talk to each other or compare notes until each child has decided on her own. Then the group can discuss their individual decisions.
HOWEVER, before you begin the experiment (several hours or perhaps even a day before), identify one child to be assigned to each group as a "naive participant," but the child is not to know that he is a "naive" member of his group. Arrange for the naive participants to be out of the room a few minutes. Explain to the remaining children that in a few hours (or the next day) you will be dividing the class into groups of five to conduct the experiment on "perception."
The children who have left the room will not know this, but the experiment will really be on group pressure. Each group will have one of the children who have left the room as a naive participant.
Show the children the cards and explain the instructions you will give at the time of the experiment. Tell them that although Card A is obviously the longer line, you want them to write down Card B and to insist that Card B is longer during the discussion. They should pressure the naive child in their group to change her decision. They can question her eyesight, and point out that the line on Card A looks longer because the card is shorter. During the experiment, allow the pressure to continue for five to ten minutes. See how many naive participants change their decisions.
Bring the children back together as a total group to discuss their reactions. Suggested follow-up:
To the naive children: How did it feel to be pressured? Were you tempted to change your decision? Did you really believe the others were right, or did you just want them to leave you alone?

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What are some times that you've been pressured by friends to do something that you didn't want to do? How did it turn out?
What are some ways to stand up for your decision when others pressure you?
Are there times when you should listen to what others are saying and perhaps change your decision?
Be sure to let the naive participants in on the experiment when the activity is over.
DARES (7)
Present this situation to the children:
Clarissa is a new girl in the neighborhood. She really wants to make friends and belong to the

neighborhood club. The club members want her to join, but she must take a dare. All of the members were given a dare before they could join. Some members think Clarissa's dare is too dangerous: she must watch for a truck coming down the street. When it gets close to her, she must run out in front of it and hold up her hand to make it stop. Clarissa wants to be in the club, but she is afraid the truck will hit her.
What would you do?
What are some ways to resolve this problem of wanting to be accepted but not wanting to take the dare?
Discuss the consequences of the solutions children offer.

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TO THE TEACHER
Each of us has the challenge of finding work to do which he can do well, but it sometimes happens that a person needs help in finding out what he can do well. He may need to talk things over with friends, parents, or teachers.
SUGGESTIONS FOR USING THE STORY
After the story has been read and discussed, the children might like to draw a picture showing the part of the story they liked best. Each child could then show his picture to the rest of the class and tell why he liked that part best.
INTRODUCTION
Today, we have a story about a little black pony named Midnight. He was lonesome because he thought he was too small to play with the other ponies. Let's find out what happened to Midnight.
MIDNIGHT, A LITTLE BLACK PONY
All of the ponies at the pony farm were big and fat and round - all except one. This pony was very small. He was handsome, though, with thick, shiny black hair. That is why his owner named him Midnight. Now Midnight was a very fine pony indeed, but he wasn't happy. The other ponies were all so much larger than he that he was often left out of their games. He wanted so much to race and jump and be frisky with them. "You're too little to play," they would tell him. "You might get hurt and, besides, you cannot gallop as fast as we." Then away they would go, galloping around the green pasture. One day Midnight tried to follow the other ponies. He galloped as hard as he could and was doing pretty well until they came to a brook that ran through the pasture. "Everyone jump!" the leader called. All the ponies lifted their little hoofs and went flying through the air across the brook - all of the ponies, that is, but Midnight. He didn't quite make it, landing half on the far bank and half in the water and making a big splash. By the time he had scrambled out onto the bank, the other ponies were far away, galloping into the wind and laughing at him. Midnight hung his head. Just then a little bumpy toad close by jumped into the water. "Nobody likes me, not even the toad," thought Midnight and he cried pony tears down his long nose. "But I must not let them see my crying," he decided. "I will pretend that I don't care, that I don't want to play anyway." That is how it happened that Midnight began trying to have fun all by himself. He walked around in the soft green grass looking for patches of sweet clover to eat, for ponies like sweet clover. Somehow it didn't taste so good when he ate it all alone with no friends to share it.
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Then he went to stand in the brook and feel the water, cool and wet, moving over his hoofs. He watched some spotted frogs playing leapfrog in the shallows and overhead he could hear some bushy-tailed squirrels chattering as they played follow-the-Ieader.
"Everybody has someone to play with but me," he thought. "And I have no one because I am too little to do anything well."
He climbed slowly out of the water and pawed at the ground with his right front foot. He looked as cross and unhappy as he felt.
After a bit a little white pony trotted over. "I'll race you to the barn," he called brightly.
But Midnight was so afraid he would stumble or do something dreadfully silly, that he just said, "NO," in an unfriendly way. The white pony kicked up his heels and ran away and Midnight felt even worse than before.
And so it went on for days like that - with Midnight moping around and refusing to play with anyone. And the other ponies didn't understand why Midnight behaved as he did, and Midnight didn't understand them. There they all were in the same pasture and all of them feeling funny and unpleasant inside.
There's just no telling what might have happened if Midnight hadn't finally decided he needed someone to talk to who might help him. He made up his mind to go and have a visit with his friend Gray Mare, who was a very old and wise horse. She had lived at the farm longer than any of the other horses could remember.
Midnight found Gray Mare lying under a tree on a little hill in the corner of the pasture. When she saw him, she gave a friendly snort through her nose, which was her way of saying hello. He just started in then and told her the whole story - how he thought he was too small to play with the other ponies, how they had laughed at him, and all the sad tale.
Gray Mare listened carefully to Midnight and then she closed her eyes for so long that Midnight feared she had fallen asleep. But then, opening her eyes, she looked at him for a long minute.
"Midnight," she said at last, "I can see much from the top of this hill and I have listened and watched for some time now. I have talked with many of the ponies too. Have you ever considered that maybe the ponies think you are unfriendly and do not care to play with them? Maybe you are afraid you cannot do well the things they do and so you are afraid to be with them. In this big, wide world there are things that some can do better than others. But each of us can do something so well that all of us, living together, can be happier.
Midnight was thinking very hard about what Gray Mare had said. "You know," he mused, "maybe I wasn't very friendly when the white pony asked me to race. And, now that I think of it, I never really tried to do anything but gallop and jump."
Gray Mare looked kindly at Midnight. "Really, your size makes no difference because there are ever so many things that ponies can learn to do well."
Midnight and Gray Mare talked together for a long time about things that ponies could do. At last he thanked Gray Mare and walked away slowly, still thinking and wondering.
A few days later a most exciting thing happened. After breakfast in the barn, all of the ponies were turned out into the corral, but the big gate to the pasture was not opened. The sturdy little ponies trotted around, arching their necks and talking excitedly together.
"Why can't we go out in the pasture?"
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"I feel like galloping this morning." "Now we can't have our race."
"I want a cool drink from the brook."
Midnight stood quietly to one side not joining in the talk. He was afraid he might say something foolish and then all the ponies would laugh at him. But his round eyes were bright and clear and he was wondering and wondering.
After a while Mr. Hughes came out with something made of leather that had many straps and a peculiar shape. If you had been there, you would have known right away that it was a pony saddle, but the ponies had no way of knowing this. Mr. Hughes led the first pony out of the corral and gently but firmly strapped the saddle on his back. Immediately, the pony began to kick and buck and race round and round in a manner that displeased Mr. Hughes very much.
At once the ponies began chattering again. "He can't do that to me!"
'I'll lie down and roll over and break the thing!"
"I'll kick like anything!"
And one by one, as their turns came, the ponies did just that. Midnight was thinking hard. Gray Mare had said there was something for everyone to do, something he could do well.
"Maybe this is it," he mused. "Mr. Hughes must have a good reason for strapping that little seat on our backs. I will try my best to please him."
So when his turn came, he stood very quietly for the saddle to be put on, although he was shaking with fright. And when Mr. Hughes gently tugged on the strap of his halter, he walked along slowly on his four stiff legs.
It must have pleased Mr. Hughes very much for he patted Midnight's soft, black nose and gave him an apple. "If you work very hard, you'll make a fine saddle pony," he said. Later, out in the pasture, the ponies gathered around Midngight.
"How did you do it?"
"You walked around so well."
"Maybe we could help each other. I will show you how to jump the brook and you can tell me how it was that you didn't seem to mind wearing that funny thing." Midnight could scarcely believe his ears. The ponies were asking help of him, the smallest one of all! They wanted to work together and later, perhaps, they would play together. It took many, many days of hard work before all the ponies became used to their saddles. And some of them
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never did learn to carry their saddles properly. They would lay their ears flat against their heads and paw at the ground whenever the cinch was strapped around them. But Midnight carried his saddle just right, as anyone could plainly see. And the wonderful part of all this was that Midnightfelt so good about doing one thing well, that be began trying to do all kinds of things. He galloped and jumped with the others and although he did not do as well as some, he didn't mind, for he was having so much fun. And the ponies didn't laugh at him any more, for why would anyone laugh at a little black pony who had learned that you don't have to be the best in everything, and you don't have to have a certain kind of looks to be friendly and happy?
SUGGESTED DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. What was it that Midnight wanted so very much? 2. How did it happen that Midnight began to feel that he couldn't do things as well as the other ponies? 3. Midnight was unhappy. What did he do when he was feeling this way? 4. How did it help to talk things over with Gray Mare? 5. How did Midnight feel after he worked very hard and learned to carry his saddle so well? How did the other
ponies feel? (THE TEACHER MAY ALSO WANT TO DISCUSS WITH THE CHILDREN WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO MIDNIGHT IF HE HADN'T DECIDED TO TALK THINGS OVER WITH GRAY MARE.)
Reprinted with permission from Education in Human Behavior Handbook, v 1968, by the Educational Research Council of America.
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THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS OF MAKING DECISIONS
Making a decision means you "make up your mind" or "you decide what to do." There are several ways you can go about making these decisions. In this lesson you, your classmates, and your teacher will discuss these different ways. You will practice making your own decisions. You will meet children about your age who have problems and you will work out the solutions with them.
1. People can do the first thing that comes to their mind and not stop to think at all.
You may feel you want to do something the moment something happens that you do not like. If someone hits you, you may feel you want to hit right back. If someone calls you names, you may feel you want to "get even" with him. Some people might not call this "making a decision," of course. When you decide something, this usually means you stop to think first. But sometimes people just "do the first thing that comes to mind," so this will be counted as a method of making a decision.
Can you think of a time when you did the first thing that came to your mind? ~~~~~~~~~~
What happened as a result? _~~~~~~~~~_ _~~~_~~~~_~_~~_~_

2. As a second method, people can think what would be the easiest or the most fun for them at the time.

In other words, you could think only of yourself and what people would like at this moment.

One example of this way of deciding:

Joe, Charlie, and Jane were elected to a committee to look up some information and make a report to the class. Joe got interested in talking with Bill and did not get his reading done in time. He had an important part to read. When it was time for the committee to make its report, Joe was not ready. He felt very embarrassed and could tell that the others were displeased because he had not found the information they needed.

Joe was doing what was fun for him right at that time. But he did not think what would happen to him later on. He did not stop to think that he would have his report ready and he also did not think about the other children and their feelings.

Have you used this second method to make a decision? What happened? _~~

~~~_~_

3. As a third method, people can think of themselves and others plus what they would like to do at the moment.
You would not think ahead to see what the effect would be later on but only what you would like now. For example, a group of boys were practicing for a basketball game. They knew they needed practice in passing the ball. They did this for a while, but it was more fun shooting baskets. They got tired of just passing the ball, so together they decided to shoot baskets instead of practicing their passing. When the real game was on, they kept losing the ball because of poor passing. They found they did not get much chance to shoot at the basket even though they were pretty good at that skill. You can see that they had thought only of what they would like to do at the present moment when they were practicing and had not looked ahead to think what the "conseql,Jences" might be.

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Tell about the time you used the third method to solve your problem. What were the consequences of your

behavior?

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Would the effects have been the same if you had thought ahead?
4. A fourth method of deciding would be when people think not only of the moment and what they would like now but also think ahead to see what some of the results might be later, and what effect these results might have on them and others around them.
In the example of Joe and his committee report, Joe could have used this fourth way in deciding what to do. He could have thought not only of what would be fun at the time, but also of what would help him later when the committee had to report. He could also have thought of the other children and how they would be helped (or not helped) if he did not have his report. If he had thought about these things, perhaps he would have found that he could spend part of the time talking with Bill and part of the time getting his report ready. In this way no one would have been disappointed. In other words, when Joe had to decide whether to talk with Bill or work on his report, he could have:
1. Thought about the other children.
2. Thought of some of the reasons why they may have chosen him to be on the committee.
3. Thought of how he and the others would feel if he did not have his report ready.
Then he could have:
4. Tried to decide how the whole thing could be worked out so that he would have a good time and also have his report ready.
Let us review these four ways of making a decision and think about them for a while.
1. People may do the first thing that comes to mind and not really think about the situation.
2. People may think only of themselves and their feelings and what they would like to do at the time.
3. People may think of other people as well as themselves, but they think only of the moment.
4. People may think of other people as well as themselves and what they would like to do now, but they can also think ahead to see what some of the effects might be.
You have read some examples of different ways of making decisions. Now see if you can find ways in which all those involved in the following situations can work out their needs for security and self-respect and have a chance to do something they feel is worthwhile.
1. John was a new student at Beechwood Elementary School. Because he had not had the opportunity to make friends yet, John felt alone and insecure. On the way home from school one afternoon, John struck up a conversation with Phil and Mark - two of the biggest boys in class. Phil invited both John and Mark to his house to experiment taking some bright red capsules he had gotten earlier in the day from one of the other students. Mark agreed and both boys looked at John.

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What could John consider in making his decision? What decision could John make that would seem most helpful to him?
2. Judy was the fastest runner at Lakewood School. In the spring she would represent her school in the citywide track meet. Some of her girlfriends had been experimenting with cigarettes and a few were actually "hooked." Judy had learned that smoking can cause shortness of breath and therefore might affect her performance in the track meet. Some of the girls were beginning to call her "chicken" because she wouldn't try smoking with them. "After all," Jill said, "one or two won't hurt you!"
What could Judy consider in making her decision? What decision could Judy make that would seem most helpful to her?
3. Jim was bored with school. Although Miss Barton, his teacher, often tried to give him extra help with his work and often asked what was bothering him, he didn't feel he liked her well enough to talk; and besides, he didn't really know why he didn't like to do the things the rest of the class seemed to enjoy.
Jim knew that some people take different kinds of pills which can make them "feel good." Jim also knew another student from whom he might obtain some of these pills anytime. Jim was trying to decide what he should do. What things could Jim consider in making his decision? What decision could Jim make that would seem most helpful to him?
A World to Grow In (curriculum guide series), 1972, Educational Research Council of America, Cleveland, Ohio. Reprinted with permission.
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ON YOUR OWN
In this story a boy is faced with the choice of following limits established by his father or going beyond those limits with his friends. The story is left unfinished so that children can discuss possible outcomes and the meaning of rules and limits.
STORY TEXT FOR "ON YOUR OWN"
Joey had been begging for a bike for a long time and finally got one for his birthday. His parents were surprised and pleased to see how well he could ride. They stood and watched him ride up to the corner and back several times.
When he came up to them to thank them for at least the tenth time, his dad said, "Mom and I are going in now, Joey. You can ride your bike from our house to school and down to the shopping center. I wouldn't like to have you riding toward the tracks or over to the park. Traffic is too heavy in those areas."
"O.K., Dad. You don't have to worry. I'll stay around where you said. That's plenty of space to ride in."
"Well, you're on your own, but remember what I said about the danger areas."
"Sure will," said Joey. Hewas so happy, he could hardly wait to show the guys his bike. As his parents went in, he headed down to the school. On the way, he stopped at Mike's house. Mike was surprised to see Joey and yelled, "What you got there?"
Both boys examined the bike carefully, and Joe even let Mike ride it around. Finally Joey said, "Hey, let's go see if Stan can go for a ride with us."
Mike got on his bike, and the two boys went to pick up Stan. The three of them went to the school yard where they rode around for a while and did formations, the way the daredevils do on their motorcycles. Then they parked their bikes and sat down to talk.
After a while Mike said, "Let's go to the park. It has a swell road to ride on, with long, easy hills to coast down. It's really fun."
Joey said, "I can't go that way. My dad said I should stay this side of the park."
"How come?"
"Oh, he just thinks the traffic is too heavy there and down by the tracks, too."
"Did he say you couldn't go?" asked Stan.
"Well," said Joey, "he didn't say that exactly. He said I was on my own, but that he wanted me to stay clear of those places."
"Gee, Joey, Mike and I have been riding there lots of times, and we never have trouble. Come on, as long as he said you're on your own, you can go."
"Well, no, I don't think I'd better. We can play here in the school yard."
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"That's no fun. We've been here long enough. Come on. I want to go to those hills. I've got to be home soon anyhow, and I want some fun before I go home. You can come if you want." With that, Stan headed off toward the park. Mike started following him. As he passed Joey, he said, "You're on your own, aren't you? Come on, then." Joey hesitated for a minute or so, and then he got on his bike, too.
SUGGESTED DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
How do you think Joey felt when his friends invited him to go to the park? What do you think Joey will decide to do? What do you think about the rules Joey's father set up? What might happen if Joey decides to go with the boys? How will he feel if he decides not to join them?
Developing Understanding of Self and Others (DUSO D-2), 1973, American Guidance Service, Inc., Circle Pines, Minnesota. Reprinted with permission.
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THE OVERNIGHT
This story describes a girl who wants to stay overnight with a friend but is anxious and worried about problems that may arise. Her mother assures her that there are always people to help when one has the courage to try to do something alone. Discussion centers on youngsters' feelings about trying something for the first time.
STORY TEXT FOR "THE OVERNIGHT"
Karen's friend Susan had moved to a new neighborhood. She and Karen hadn't seen each other for a long time, so you can imagine how excited Karen was when Susan telephoned. They had a long conversation, and then Karen said, "Gee, Susan, I wish I could see you again." "Golly," laughed Sue, "That's why I called. I told my mother that I wished I could see you, too, and she said I could invite you to come Friday after school and stay until Saturday afternoon. Do you think your mom will let you come?" Karen hesitated. She had never been away from home overnight. She wasn't sure she would like that. She wasn't sure her mother would allow it, either. All sorts of problems came into her mind. Finally Sue said, "Hey, Karen, are you still there?" Karen laughed and said, "Gee, I must have been daydreaming. Wait, I'll ask my mom." Karen ran to tell her mom about the invitation. Mrs. Taylor asked, "Do you think you'd like to sleep over at Susan's house? If you would, you may go. I know Mrs. Graham will take good care of you." Karen ran back to the phone. "Sue, I can come," she said rapidly. For the next few minutes the two girls made all sorts of plans, and then they said good-bye. Karen walked slowly back to her mother. She wasn't as excited as she had been during the phone call. Mrs. Taylor said, "Well, are you all set for your visit?" "Mom, I'm worried. You know, now that I said I'd go, I'm not so sure I want to stay overnight. Do you think I can call Sue and tell her that I'll just come for Friday afternoon?" "What are you worried about, Karen?" "Well, suppose Mrs. Graham makes something for supper that I don't like to eat. What will I do?" "Well," laughed her mother, "you certainly won't starve if they have something for supper that you don't like. You'll eat as much as you can and leave the rest. What else are you worried about?" "Well, suppose I get sick. What will I do then?" "Well," said her mother, "you'll tell Mrs. Graham, and you can call me. I'll come to get you. Are there other things that you are worried about?"
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"Well, I don't know what they are, but I guess I am worried. I wonder how I will act and what I should take. Oh, Mom, maybe I'd better call it off. I don't know what will be happening, and I don't know whether I'll know what to do." "Karen, remember when you had to go to kindergarten for the first time? You were worried then, that you wouldn't know what to do. But you went and everything went okay, didn't it?" "Yes, but the teacher told me." "Right. Do you remember when I sent you to the store for the first time? You were worried that you wouldn't find the kind of bread I wanted. But you went and got it, didn't you?" "Yes, but the grocer showed me." "Right. That's the way it is all the time. There will always be new things to do and new places to go. And there will always be someone you can ask for the help you need. If you have the courage to try to do something, there are lots of people along the way who can give you help. All you really have to do is want to try. But you think about it. If you don't want to go to Sue's house, you can call and cancel the date."
Developing Understanding of Self and Others (OUSO 0-2), 1973, American Guidance Service, Inc., Circle Pines, Minnesota. Reprinted with permission.
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HOUSEWORK
by Sheldon Harnick
You know; there are times when we happen to be
just sitting there quietly watching TV,
when the program we're watching will stop for awhile
and suddenly someone appears with a smile
and starts to show us how terribly urgent
it is to buy some brand of detergent or soap or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach-
to help with the housework.
Now, most of the time it's a lady we see
who's doing the housework on TV.
She's cheerfully scouring a skillet or two,
or she's polishing pots 'til they gleam like new,
or she's scrubbing the tub, or she's mopping the floors,
or she's wiping the stains from the walls and the doors,
or she's washing the windows, the dishes, the clothes,
or waxing the furniture 'til it just glows,
or cleaning the "fridge," or the stove or the sink
with a lighthearted smile and a friendly wink
and she's doing her best

to make us think that her soap
or detergent or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach is the best kind of soap (or detergent or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach) that there is in the whole wide world!
And maybe it is... and maybe it isn't. .. and maybe it does what they
say it will do... but I'll tell you one thing
I know is true:
The lady we see when we're watching TV -
The lady who smiles as she scours or scrubs or rubs or washes or wipes or mops or dusts or cleans-
or whatever she does on our TV screens that lady is smiling because she's an actress. And she's earning money
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for learning those speeches that mention those wonderful
soaps and detergents and cleansers and cleaners and powders and pastes and waxes and bleaches. So the very next time you happen to be just sitting there quietly watching TV, and you see some nice lady who smiles as she scours,
or scrubs or rubs or washes or wipes or mops or dusts or cleans remember: Nobody smiles doing housework but those ladies you see on TV. Because even if the soap
or detergent or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach that you use is the very best onehousework is just no fun. Children, when you have a house of your own make sure, when there's housework to do, that you don't have to do it alone. Little boys, little girls, when you're big husbands and wives, if you want all the days of your lives to seem sunny as summer weather make sure, when there's housework to do, that you do it together.
Copyright Free To Be Foundation, Inc. Used by Permission.
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ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A DIVORCE
DIVORCE - a sudden change of environment, people, attitude, the sudden intense fear of abandonment when mother goes back to work, the turning to and against a loved pet (or person) and the need to control and hurt the pet as a scapegoat.
This story universalizes depression, anger, helplessness, and loneliness.
It is important for parents who are divorcing to recognize these fears (being helpless and lonely) in themselves and their child. The main task is to get parents and child back in tune with each other so that the parents understand what the child is feeling and can make their decisions on this basis. Perhaps, this story can serve as a bridge helping parents and child to put back into perspective what has become distorted.
Once there was a little girl called Janeydear.
She lived in a house with her daddy and mommy and a dog named Funny. Her daddy named the dog Funny because that's what he was. And her daddy called Jane Janeydear because that's what she was.
Daddy was an important person. He went to work and earned the money that mommy used to buy groceries with. Sometimes he played with Janeydear and Funny and they laughed a lot. Sometimes though, he didn't want to play and he'd be angry at Janey if she made too much noise. Then Janey would be angry at him.
Mommy said Daddy only scolded because he had headaches and didn't feel well. Janey guessed she knew about that because sometimes she had colds and felt bad too. But it was always disappointing when Daddy didn't want to play.
One morning Funny was eating breakfast from his bowl on the kitchen floor while Janey was eating hers at the kitchen table. Mommy was frying pancakes.
"Where's Daddy?" Janey asked.
"Is he still asleep?" Janey asked.
After a minute, Mommy said, "Daddy-isn't here."
"When will he be back?"
Mommy went to the sink and turned the water on. The water sprayed out as it came down, and it looked white.
"White water!" Janey said, "Like the edges of waves!" Then she remembered about Daddy. "When is Daddy coming home?"
"I don't know," Mommy said. Janey got a sudden fUll-up feeling in her stomach and didn't want any more pancakes. She slid off her chair and sat down on the floor beside Funny. "You and Funny and I will be keeping house for awhile," Mommy said. Janey didn't say anything.
Daddy didn't come home for days and days. Janey felt lonesome for him. Mommy was nice most of the time, but she didn't want to play. Only Funny was fun. Janey wondered if Daddy stayed away because he was angry at her.
But then he did come and Janey was so glad to see him! He took herto the beach. Not Funny, not Mommy, just Janeydear.
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They played in the white water where the waves ended, and they sat in the sand and made a sand house. And then they picked up a million sea shells and Daddy wrote Funny's name with shells on the sand.
Janey said, "Go on, Daddy. Write Mommy's name!" And he didn't.
He said, "Janeydear, Mommy and I are going to get a divorce."
Janey asked, "What is that?" She knew from the way he said it, it wasn't something nice.
Daddy tried to explain, but it was hard for Janey to listen. She was watching the waves, one after another, never quite the same. "Why does the water turn white?" she asked.
"Oh, never mind!" Daddy said. He sounded cross. "It's time to go home."
Janey began to cry. "Why are you crying?" Daddy asked. But Janey couldn't tell him.
When they got home, Daddy came into the house. Janey wanted to keep him there, so she tried to sit on his lap every minute. When Mommy said she had to go to bed, Janey said NO! and made a great fuss. Then Mommy and Daddy began yelling at each other, and Janey howled at the top of her lungs because she was sorry she'd made a fuss and she didn't want them to yell like that.
When they put her in bed and went downstairs, Janey could still hear her Mommy's and Daddy's voices going up and down, sometimes soft, sometimes shouty. The anger between them made a pain inside her and she cried and cried.
After a long, long time Daddy came in and he stood by her bed saying, "Janeydear, Janeydear," until she stopped crying. Then he said, "I'll always be your daddy just the same. He sounded nice and Janeydear was very, very sleepy, so she went to sleep.
The next morning Mommy said the same thing, "Daddy will always be your daddy." But he wasn't there. He'd gone away again. Mommy said, "You and Funny and I will go to live with Grandma." Janey didn't say anything, and Mommy asked, "You like Grandma, don't you?"
Janey liked Grandma, but she didn't like Grandma's house. Nobody ever wanted to play except Funny and Funny wished they were in their real house too. Janey cried and yelled at Grandma, and Grandma said she was a bad girl.
Whenever Janey asked Mommy when they could go home, Mommy didn't answer. Sometimes Janey yelled at Mommy because it made her mad not to know when they could go home. It made her mad that Daddy went away. Janey knew it was bad to yell so much, but she just couldn't help it.
Then the worst thing happened. Mommy got a job and was gone all day like Daddy used to be. A great big fear grew inside of Janey - she was afraid her Mommy would go away for all the time, like Daddy had. So Janey begged her Mommy not to leave. Mommy promised she would come home every night. But Grandma said Mommy would not want to come home at all if Janey was so bad and angry and cried so much.
Janey remembered that she'd been angry at Daddy sometimes before he went away. She used to get mad at him when he didn't want to play.
Janey decided it was very bad to be angry because terrible things happened. She knew she must never say anything angry again, never ever.
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And so she said hardly anything at all because if she did talk, even a little, some madness might leak out and then Mommy would go away forever.
Mommy said, "Janey, you used to be my chatterbox! What's the matter, darling?"
But Janey didn't tell her.
Grandma said, "She must be coming down with something!" So Mommy took Janey to the doctor, but he couldn't find anything that was wrong.
Janey didn't even fuss when Grandma chased Funny out of the house.
One day Janey went out to talk with Funny, but Funny wasn't there. Janey called him twice, three times, seven times. Finally Funny came. All of a sudden Janey was mad at Funny - she was so mad that she hit him and hit him. Funny yelped and ran away. Janey sat down hard on the ground. She had hurt Funny and she felt bad about it and glad about it, both at the same time.
"Janey!" It was Mommy. She had seen what Janey did. Janey thought Mommy would scold her, but she said in a puzzled way, "Funny loves you and you hit him."
Janey cried, "He went away like you and Daddy and I hate him!"
Mommy sat right down on the ground beside Janey and hugged her until Janey was quiet.
The next day Mommy asked, "Janey, would you like to come downtown and see where Mommy works?"
"Yes," Janey said, so that's what happened. Grandma and Janey went to Mommy's office, and Janey played with Mommy's typewriter, said hello to some people, and saw where Mommy hung her coat and kept her pencils. Then Grandma and Janey went home.
And Grandma said, "I guess it isn't much fun for you here, Janey. Come sit on Grandma's lap - I'll read you a story." Janey listened hard. When the story was over she said, "Read it again, Grandma!" and Grandma did.
And every morning, when she went to work, Mommy said, "Janeydear, remember I'm coming back home tonight. I'm never going to stay away, never, ever." And she always did come home.
And Grandma began to be nicer to Funny, and she let him in the house sometimes. She even said he was quite a good little dog. And when Janey asked about him, Mommy talked about Daddy. She explained that there were lots of reasons why Daddy went away, but none of them were Janey's fault. Mommy said that Janey was a good girl, she was Janeydear, so Daddy certainly didn't leave because she was bad. Daddy would come to see Janeydear whenever he possibly could Mommy said.
And pretty soon Daddy did come and Janey was so glad to see him! They went to the zoo. This time Janey knew that Daddy would go away again, but it was fun to be at the zoo, splashing in the water. Janey asked, "Why does the water turn white?" And Daddy looked at her and said, "Bubbles, Janeydear. The seals splash air into the water and it makes tiny bubbles."
"Oh," Janey said. "Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles." And she laughed and laughed and Daddy laughed too.
Janeydear felt much better.
John M. McDurmott, Jr., M.D., 1968, New York Times Magazine, May 12, 1968. Reprinted with permission.
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BUTTONS
In this story a boy's classmates try to help him cope with the accidental death of his dog. Discussion allows children to express their feelings about personal losses and helps them to consider ways of coping with losses they can do nothing about.
STORY TEXT FOR "BUTTONS"
It was quiet in the classroom. A reading group was working with Mrs. Cooper while the rest of the class was doing seat work. The door opened slowly, and in came Louie. Everyone looked up. Mrs. Cooper said, "Why Louie, how nice to see you. We thought that you were sick this morning." Louie looked terrible. His eyes looked as if he had been crying. He walked up to Mrs. Cooper and said, "My dog Buttons was hit by a car. I'm sorry I was late; Mom said she'd send a note tomorrow." "Gh, Louie," said Mrs. Cooper, "I'm so sorry. Is Buttons hurt badly?" Louie couldn't answer for a minute or two. Then he said, "She's dead." Everyone in the class gasped. We felt terrible. We all had seen Buttons' puppies, and lots of us had played with Buttons when we played at Louie's house. "Gee, Louie," said John, "I'm sorry that happened to Buttons. I had a dog that got hit by a car, too. You feel strange inside and lonesome, don't you? But after a while, you'll feel better." Pete said, "Remember last year when one of my cats was killed, Louie? You let me play with Buttons. You can come to my house and play with my cats anytime you want." Louie smiled at Pete and John. "You're nice guys. In a few days I guess I'll feel better." Mrs. Cooper suggested that everyone get to work again. "You know, Louie, it is going to be lonely and sad without Buttons, but you have a lot of friends who know how you feel and will try to help you be happier." Joey leaned over to Louie and asked, "Why don't you come to my house to play after school today? I've got a new game and I have to have someone to play it with."
Developing Understanding of Self and Others (OUSO 0-2), 1973, American Guidance Service, Inc., Circle Pines, Minnesota. Reprinted with permission.
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GLAD TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE YOU

.by Carol Hall
Jill told Bill That it was lots of fun to cook. Bill told Jill That she could bait a real fish hook.
So they made ooey gooey Chocolate cake Sticky licky Sugar top And they gobbled it and giggled. And they sat by the river And they fished in the water And they talked As the squirmy wormies wiggled, Singin'
Glad to have a friend like you, Fair and fun and skippin' free. Glad to have a friend like you, And glad to just be me.
Pearl told Earl That they could do a secret code. Earl told Pearl There was free ice cream when it snowed.
So they sent funny letters Which contained mystery messages And nobody knew just how they made it. And they raised up the window And they scooped all the snow together, Put milk and sugar in and ate it, Singin'
Glad to have a friend like you, Fair and fun and skippin' free. Glad to have a friend like you, And glad to just be me.

Peg told Greg She liked to make things out of chairs. Greg told Peg Sometimes he still hugged teddy bears.
So they sneaked in the living room And piled all the pillows up And made it a rocket ship To fly in. And the bears were their girls and boys And they were the astronauts Who lived on the moon With one pet lion, Singin'
Glad to have a friend like you, Fair and fun and skippin' free. Glad to have a friend like you, And glad to just be me.

Copyright v Free To Be Foundation, Inc. Used by permission.
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BILLV'S PROBLEM
Billy was ten years old. Every day he looked forward to going to school and being with his friends. He never had trouble with the boys in his class, because they all liked him and thought he was a good guy. One day Billy was walking home after playing at a friend's home. About halfway home, two older boys stepped in front of him and said they weren't going to let him pass. Billy didn't know what to do. He told the two boys that he had to get home or his mother would be angry with him. They just laughed and said that didn't bother them. Billy was afraid they might have a knife. When he made a move to get away, one of the boys grabbed him and threw him down. Suddenly the sound of a siren attracted the older boys' attention. As they turned to watch a fire engine speed by, Billy jumped up and started to run. Before the two boys realized that Billy was up, he was so far away that they couldn't catch him. Bill was relieved to get away from them, but he heard them shout, "We'll wait for you after school tomorrow and really take care of you." Billy ran all the way home. That night he couldn't sleep because he was thinking about the warning the two boys had given him.
Why do you think the two boys stopped Billy? How do you think this experience will affect Billy's behavior the next day? What might Billy do about his fear of the two boys? To whom might Billy go to for help? How do you think you might feel if you were Billy? What do you think you might do if you were Billy? Why? To whom would you go for help if you were in this kind of situation?
Dealing with Causes of Behavior (curriculum guide series), e 1972, Educational Research Council of America, Cleveland, Ohio. Reprinted with permission.
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ADDITIONAL READING

CLASSROOM STRATEGIES ("HOW TO" BOOKS)
Advanced Value Clarification (1977) by Howard Kirschenbaum University Associates, Inc. 7596 Eads Avenue La Jolla, California 92037 Cost: $7.95
Clarifying Values Through SUbject Matter (1973) by Harmin, Kirschenbaum and Simon Winston Press 25 Groveland Terrace Minneapolis, Minnesota 55403 Level: grades 6-12 Cost: $3.00
Group Processes in the Classroom (1971) by Richard Schmuck, Patricia Schmuck William C. Brown Company Publishers Dubuque, Iowa
100 Ways to Enhance Self-Concept (1976) by Canfield and Wells Prentice Hall, Inc. Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey 07632 Level: all ages Cost: $5.95
Personalizing Education: Values Clarification and Beyond (1975) by Howe and Howe Hart Publishing 15 West 4th Street New York, New York 10012 Cost: $5.95
Reaching Out - Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self-Actualization (1972) by David Johnson Prentice-Hall Box 10406 Newark, New Jersey 07101 Level: high school Cost: $5.95

Reality Games (1972) by Saville Sax, Sandra Hollander The Macmillan Company 866 Third Avenue New York, New York 10022
Role Playing for Social Values: Decision Making in Social Studies (1967) by Fannie R. Shaftel Prentice-Hall, Inc. Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey 07632
Strategies in Hymanistic Education (1975) by Timmerman and Ballard Mandala Box 796 Amherst, Massachusetts 01002 Cost: $5.95
Teacher Effectiveness Training (1974) and Parent Effectiveness Training (1970) by Thomas Gordon Peter H. Wyden, Inc. 750 Third Avenue New York, New York 10017
Values Clarification: A Handbook of Practical Strategies for Teachers and Students (Teacher's Guide) (1972) by Simon, Howe, Kirschenbaum Hart Publishing 15 West 4th Street New York, New York 10012 Level: all ages Cost: $4.95
Values Education Sourcebook (1976) by Superka, Ahrens and Hedstrom Social Science Education Consortium, Inc. 855 Broadway Boulder, Colorado 80302 Cost: $10.95

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Value Exploration Through Role-Playing (1975) by Robert Hawley Hart Publishing 15 West 4th Street New York, New York 10012 Level: junior and senior high school Cost: $4.95
Values and Teaching (1966) by Raths, Harmin and Simon C. E. Merrill Publishing 1300 Alum Creek Drive Columbus, Ohio 43216 Cost: $5.50
PROGRAMS AND CURRICULA
Deciding (1972) Deciding: A Leader's Guide (1972) Decisions and Outcomes (1973) Decisions and Outcomes: A Leader's Guide (1973) Publications Order Office College Entrance Examination Board Box 592 Princeton, New Jersey 08540
DUSO 0-2, Developing Understanding of Self and Others (1970, 1973) by Dinkmeyer American Guidance Service Publishers Building Circle Pines, Minnesota 53104 Cost: $110.00
Dimensions of Personality Series Now I'm Ready (Grade One Teacher Edition) I Can Do It (Grade Two Teacher Edition) What About Me (Grade Three Teacher Edition) Here I Am (Grade Four Teacher Edition) I'm Not Alone (Grade Five Teacher Edition) Becoming Myself (Grade Six Teacher Edition)
Pflau m/Standard 38 West Fifth Street Dayton, Ohio 45402
Dimensions of Personality: Search for Meaning (1974) (kit with teacher's guide and 72 spirit masters)

by Ronald Klein Pflaum Publishing 2285 Arbor Boulevard Dayton, Ohio 45439 Level: junior high school Cost: $44.95
Dimensions of Personality: Search for Values (1972) by Gerri Curwin
Pflaum Publishing 2285 Arbor Boulevard Dayton, Ohio 45439 Level: high school Cost: $44.95
A Guide To Self, Incorporated and Self, Incorporated Film Series (1975) Agency for Instructional Television Box A Bloomington, Indiana 47401 Level: 11-13 years Cost: Free (Note: Contact Georgia State De-
partment of Education Film Library or the Educational T. V. Network.)
Inside/Out: A Guide for Teachers National Instructional Television Center Box A Bloomington, Indiana 47401 Level: 8-10 years Cost: Free (Note: Contact Georgia State De-
partment of Education Film Library or the Educational T.V. Network.)
Learning to Decide Program: Teacher's Course Book (Grades 4,5,6) Educational Research Council of America Rockefeller Building Cleveland, Ohio 44113
Life Skills for Health (1974) by Frye and Rockness Peggy Rockness Division of Health, Safety, and Physical Education North Carolina Department of Public Instruction Education Building Raleigh, North Carolina 27611 Level: grades K-12 (4 guides: K-3; 4-6; 7-9; 10-12) Cost: $7.00 per set

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Self-Enhancing Education (1966) by Norma Randolph, William Howe Pennant Educational Materials 4780 Alvarado Cyn. Road San Diego, California 92120
A Teaching Program for Education in Human Behavior and Potential: Teacher Handbook (Grades K, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) Educational Research Council of America Rockefeller Building Cleveland, Ohio 44113
Toward Affective Development (TAD) (1974) by Dupont, Gardner and Brody American Guidance Service, Inc. Publishers Building Circle Pines, Minnesota 55014 Level: grades 3-6 Cost: $90.00
Values and Decision-Making Program Teacher's Guides
Understanding Human Behavior and Readings in Human Behavior (Grades 7,8,9,10) Educational Research Council of America. Rockefeller Building Cleveland, Ohio 44113

BACKGROUND READING IN AFFECTIVE DEVELOPMENTAL EDUCATION
Human Relations Development (1973) by George M. Gazda Allyn & Bacon Boston, Massachusetts
Human Teaching for Human Learning: An Introduction to Confluent Education (1971) by George I. Brown Viking Press 625 Madison Avenue New York, New York 10022 Cost: $2.95
The Other Side of the Report Card (1975) by L. Chase Goodyear Publishing Co., Inc. Pacific Palisades, California 90272 Cost: $8.50
Real Learning, A Sourcebook for Teachers by Mel Silberman, Jerry Allender and Jay Yanoff Little, Brown and Company Boston, Massachusetts Cost: $7.95

NOTE: Prices noted are subject to change and are offered as estimates only. 85

Published for the Georgia Department of Human Resources
by Editorial Services Department of Conferences Center for Continuing Education University of Georgia

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