Partnerships in fostering: a newsletter of the Georgia DHR Foster Care Unit, Winter 2000

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Keeping Fo us on Schoo

Bringing Christmas
to Kids in Care

An Update onASFA

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Getting Christmas toys to children in foster care: Atlanta WSB radio personality Clark Howard has led this effort for nine years, helping more than 8,000 children. Broadcasting this year from several Target stores, Howard again encouraged people to be "secret Santas," donating toys.

Asked why he continues to support the Secret Santa program, Howard replied, "Because of tough family situations, these kids don't get to be with their family during this holiday, and that's hard. I have

Last year, the Secret Santa program brought two toys apiece to 1,993 children in 52 counties. Approximately 44 percent resulted from Howard's broadcasts. DFCS obtained 33 percent, and the remainder were obtained or donated by individual sponsors.

Sarah Smith, a Cairo foster parent, testified to what the Secret Santa program has meant to two children in her care: "When I heard DFCS was going to Atlanta to pick up toys, I thought, 'Well, I guess they'll get old leftover toys from up there.' But I was surprised my children received these really nice toys. We had an infant who got one of those mobiles he could lie under and swat and grab . We also had a 15-month-old who got a Tickle-Me Ernie and one of those nice plastic toys he can sit on and ride around."
Smith added, "Kids in foster care come from families having troubles, so Christmas is a new experience for a lot of them. I remember how my kids' eyes lit up when they saw those toys. Santa had been to see them! Both boys are still with us, and they're still enjoying those toys. The toys were nice enough that they're still in use-not things that tore up in a few months."

two daughters, and they mean more to me than anything else in the world. Now my 10-year-old is just totally fired up. When she hears there are kids her age who can't be home right now, she just can't stand the thought. This Christmas she took money she saved, and I matched it, and she sponsored a child. I think what a neat thing it is for these kids to know an absolute stranger cares about them enough to bring them some Christmas cheer. Maybe they'll think there's prospects for good times ahead."
Doris Walker, manager of DFCS foster care, said, "Georgia owes Mr. Howard a great debt of gratitude for year after year lifting the spirits of our children in foster care. We think he's wonderful!"

Clark Howard poses among toys that were delivered to children in foster care.

Parents Can Help Children
Keep up Momentum in School

Student Assistance Professionals Association P.O. Box 218 Fayetteville, GA 30214 770.719.1856
January is a gooc/ time to check whether chilclren ore on troclc in school.

Maybe last summer and fall you worked hard to prepare a child for the new school year. But as the year continues, maybe your child is losing momentum-getting in trouble or not studying enough-and needs your help again. January marks the half-way point in the school year, which is a good time to check your child's progress at school, before too much of the school year slips by.
Report cards provide a measure of how students are doing. Teacher workdays at the semester break allow time for parents and teachers to meet, review grades and discuss any problems before they become major. The child may gain some good insights by being included in at least a part of this discussion. It is very important that foster parents attend these conferences to emphasize that school and the child's efforts there are important.
"There are specific things a parent can do at home to help children maintain success or address problems at school," said Michael Carpenter, executive director of the Student Assistance Professionals Association (SAPA). "Homework time on a regular basis is very important. Students should spend about an hour doing some form of homework every night. Even if a child is not doing actual assignments, he or she should review what happened that day in class."

To help a child make changes in school performance, Carpenter recommends that parents work with the child to set goals.
Help Children Set Goals
Carpenter noted, "Parents can help the child think about what she or he needs to do at school and come up with a plan to do that. If a child is failing a class because of not studying, an appropriate goal might be to spend one hour every night doing homework for that class. If a child has difficulties making friends, an immediate and important goal might be to say hello to a new person every day."
Parents should help children think about how longterm goals can be broken down into manageable short-term steps. For example, improving grades by the end of the school year is a long term goal. Some short-term steps to accomplish this goal would be studying daily and remembering to turn in homework assignments. Short-term steps help a child feel encouraged by making daily or weekly progress. Young children's goals may all be short-term. They are not able to think as far into the future or put off rewards as well as older children.
Children may need a lot of help in goal-setting, but it is important that the goals are the child's and not the parents'. In helping children set goals, parents should be aware of what they are capable of emotionally and academically. A parent may want a child to set the goal of making all A's and going to college, but the child may only be ready to work towards passing all classes and not having any behavior problems.
Reward Studious Behavior
The plan also needs to have some rewards built in that are important to the child. For example, every night when the child accomplishes a goal, such as completing an hour of homework, the parent may agree to spend five minutes of quality time alone with the child, may allow the child to choose a television show to watch, or may be allowed to have some suitable treat to take for lunch the next day.

2

Managing Children's Explosive Behavior

Discussions about goals are important for any child. Some children in foster care have never had an adult providing an example of setting and achieving goals. These discussions help children learn to monitor their own progress and better understand what they want out of their education and life.
Remember Children's Health
When children have poor physical health, they can become irritable and even aggressive, whi-ch can cause problems at school. Parents should make sure that children are eating well and getting enough sleep and physical exercise.
If a child is sick and has to miss school, parents should make sure the teacher assigns make-up work and the child completes it. Parents should carefully monitor the number of absences, even when due to unavoidable winter illnesses. Too many absences can cause a child to be overwhelmed with make-up work. Even with makeup work, the child is missing important classroom instruction.
Getting Additional Help
If concerned about a child's performance at school, a foster parent may ask the school if a student support team (SST) can help the child. All schools have SST's, which meet and brainstorm strategies to help the child do better in school. Parents can also ask for meetings with teachers. Every school operates differently, so talking with the child's teacher, an administrator or counselor is a good place to start if a parent has concerns.
All schools and communities have programs to help students outside the classroom, such as tutoring, anger management or alcohol and drug education. The Student Assistance Professionals Association (SAPA) provides information about such programs. Foster parents can contact SAPA at 770.719.1856. What programs a community provides will differ depending not only on the school but also on the local mental health, juvenile court services and other local programs.
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You walk in on your 14-year-old who is threatening to break her 8-year-old sister's doll if her sister tells she smoked cigarettes. When you forbid your teenager to go to an unchaperoned dance, he yells, "I hate you! I wish you were dead!" When you tell your 13-year-old he is grounded for a week, he says he will get a gun and ''blow you all away."
When the child in your care has explosive anger, what should you do? How much anger in children should foster parents deal with before they need a professional's advice or support? This column explores managing children's verbal threats, explosive rage and disruptive behavior.
If a youngster is raging and out of control, do not try to reason with him or her. If you have ever tried having a discussion when you were furious, you know people need to cool down before they can hear reason. 'Threatening an angry youngster will probably make matters worse.
Anger management techniques work with children with mild to moderate levels of anger. Simple techniques include having the child count to
10, ~three deep breaths, taking time-out, imagining an image symbolizing his or her anger (such as a volcano) and shrinking the image to tiny size. The parent should teach the child these techniques when the child is calm, then help the child practice them in the middle of an anger
outburst.
Parents should try to be positive examples. Do not use angry language or tones in front of children, even if only cursing other drivers who cannot hear you. If a child in your care tends to become "angry over nothing," honestly ask yourself if you have been doing the same thing around the child. If you watch violent videos or TV, consider the message you are teaching. You may need to change behaviors like these before asking a child to change.
When catching one child bullying another, some parents instinctively yell at or angrily punish the bully. This encourages many children to continue being bullies, because what they really want is attention, which they are getting from the angry parent. A more effective approach is to pay more attention to the child who was bullied, making sure the child is not hurt, and generally ignoring the child who bullied. This influences many children to seek attention in other ways than bullying. Of course, the caregiver needs to monitor the children to make sure the bullying behavior does not continue or escalate.
Because foster parents spend the most time with a child, they must be the primary change agent, with the therapist as backup or coach. For children already in therapy, foster parents should discuss angry behavior with and seek advice from the therapist. If the child is not in therapy, foster parents can ask their case managers about treatment options. Funding is available for needed treatment services.

: fostering

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tip Life Books

Help Children Through Life

Celebrations Can Help Families

social work tip

An inexpensive life book can be a lifelong tool, says Walter Pitman.
Call to order a life book:
The Path I've Walked
(No charge) Independent Living Program Contact Walter Pitman 912.430.3331
Lifebook ($10)
National Resource Center for Youth Services 918.585.2986
Adolescent/Adult Life Book ($39.95)
Independent Living Resources, Inc. 800.820.0001
4

A life book is a simple idea that can profoundly help a child in foster care. It is a kind of scrapbook where children can keep important or memorable documents, like birth certificates and diplomas, and where they can write down information that might be highly valuable to them in the future.
"Most children are lucky enough to grow up in families who keep track of things for them-these
kids don't need to remember things like where their aunts and grandparents live," said Walter Pitman, Dougherty County DFCS independent living coordinator. "But some kids enter foster care for longer stays, and then sometimes their parents disappear or die. They need to gather information about themselves while they can. Ten years down the road when they want to know about their pasts, the best people to give them the information maybe gone."
Preserving Children's Pasts
Caregivers can make life books themselves out of a simple notebook, or they can obtain inexpensive or more elaborate commercially published life books. The book's pages instruct the child to fill in information. A typical page might be titled "Things I Know About My Mother"; the page might direct the child to fill in blanks with information about the mother's name, birthdate, birthplace, years of education, occupation, her own mother's and father's names and addresses, etc. Other pages might ask the child to fill in names and addresses of important people in his or her life, medical history, school history, etc. The younger the child, the more adult help he or she will need to complete the life book.

"Even when children are adopted, many of

them keep in touch with their birth parents,"

Pitman noted. "Sometimes, though, children can

be very angry with their parents and cut off all contact. Years later they may become parents

r

themselves. What if their child has a serious ill-

\

ness and the doctor says he needs the family's

medical history to know how to treat the child?

They wouldn't know where to begin looking to

find that out. That would be a terrible position to

be in. This wouldn't be a problem if that parent

still had his or her old life book somewhere at

home."

Life Books Help Heal

In addition to being a practical record, life books are tools to help children make sense of their lives and identities. These children's difficult experiences may leave them feeling confused and as if their lives are in fragments. To help children sort through their lives over time, they can gather personal information for their life books, such as pasting in report cards, award certificates they earned, photographs of their best friends, or pictures from trips or camp.

"In the life books I made for the kids in our

program, I have a page titled 'Birth News,"'

Pitman described. "I take the kids to the library to

find the microfilm of the newspaper from a couple

of days after they were born. They get so excited

to find their birth announcement. They can print

out a copy to put in their life book. The first time I

brought kids to do this, I didn't know it would

r mean so much to them. I guess it all has to do with
a lack of feeling of connectedness, and this kind of

validates things for them."

l

In the life book he designed for his program, Pitman also included a page where children listed people they could go to for help or to talk with in a difficult time.

Sometimes when agencies try to help families, families distrust them, fearing them as judgmental policemen. Building a constructive, trusting relationship with these families can be challenging. To help in this, California uses some techniques Georgia might copy.
Celebrating a family's achievements can be a profound tool in building trusting working relationships and in giving families incentive and direction, according to Frank Higgins, chief executive of Triangle Christian Services in Los Angeles, CA.
At-risk families enter Higgins' family preservation program for six months to a year to learn new life skills so their children will not need to enter foster care. From the beginning, all the families learn an annual graduation ceremony is a tradition for all families who successfully complete the program.
"Typically these parents have had lives of very low achievement, so it's important to motivate them to complete something," Higgins explained. "Many of them don't have high school diplomas or other academic degrees. Completing our program and being part of a graduation ceremony may be the first time they get points for doing something. It's both something to strive for as they're going through the program, and it gives them a success to look back on. I believe it encourages the family on the road to self-sufficiency."
Higgins emphasized the importance of "going the whole distance" so the ceremony closely resembles a traditional graduation.
"We rent graduation caps and gowns," Higgins explained. "They love dressing up in robes, and we take pictures of them and give them copies. Sometimes we have local politicians to come and pose with them for pictures, which makes it feel more important and exciting. We print diplomas with our laser printer on nice paper with gold edges. We frame them in frames we buy in bulk. So the diplomas are not very expensive, but they mean a lot to them."
The parents are encouraged to help plan and carry out the celebration.
Higgins explained, "When parents first come to the program, we complete a talent map with them, and we encourage them to use their skills

for the graduation. The ceremony's music is provided by parents who can play piano or can put together a choir of some of the parents' kids. This gives them an option to perform which many of them have never had in their lives."
The program's parenting classes teach nutrition, where some of the parents learn to prepare party trays, hor d'oeuvres and food baskets for the graduation-activities that provide them with experience that might help them find jobs.
"All the parents are encouraged to invite all their family members, cousins, uncles, friends, neighbors, clergymen and so on," Higgins described. "A lot of the families' original problems were worse because they'd gotten to be isolated, so we want the graduation to have a big social component. One thing that impresses me is their eyes look a lot different than when they first came to the program. There's a look of brightness, exuberance, confidence and appreciation. They've got their families together. They really shine."
The program provides transportation to the ceremony for parents who need it.
Doris Walker, manager of DFCS foster care, said, "We would like to see these sorts of celebrations in Georgia when children return to their homes or are adopted. Mini-grant funds are available for this. For information about obtaining this funding, call Ann Dennard Smith at 404.657.3306."

Celebrations inspire families to strive for better lives.
5

Daniels

Leads

AFPAG to

N ew

Goals

The Adoptive and Foster Parent Association . the outside," they might not know how closely

of Georgia (AFPAG) is vibrant with progress

AFPAG and DFCS are partnering.

under its president, Verdell Daniels. A Savannah foster parent for 15 years, Daniels was elected AFPAG president last February.

"It hasn't been long since AFPAG changed its name to include the word 'Adoptive,' and now AFPAG has two roles: fostering and adoption,"

One of Daniels' top goals has been to

Daniels explained. "We've been inviting a person

strengthen relationships and communication

from the state foster care office to every AFPAG

between Georgia's foster and adoptive parents

board meeting. She reports to us on current things

and the state and

she thinks we need to know and answers any

Verdell Daniels is president ofAFPAG.

local DFCS offices. questions we have. Recently the Office of AFPAG members are Adoptions also agreed to begin sending a reprebeginning to serve sentative to keep us clear about adoption issues.

on influential state- Communication like this helps us all avoid misun-

level committees,

derstandings."

like the state committee involved with recruiting and retaining foster parents.

Daniels emphasized birth families now need foster parents more than ever, with new laws requiring DFCS to be faster in finding permanent homes for children.

"Certain things can cause families to quit fostering," Daniels said. "Some parents get burned out or decide they don't like the system-or misunderstandings can occur. DFCS needs to hear the foster-parent viewpoint about what needs to happen to recruit and keep good foster families. Having an AFPAG member on the recruiting and retention committee will really help."

"We have some foster parents here in Savannah who take birth parents shopping, show them how to buy groceries, invite them to their home for dinner and even to spend the night," Daniels described. "That's working in partnership with the birth family and the agency. We're supposed to be a role model and mentor for birth parents so they'll soon be able to take care of their children themselves. Some people think foster care is a quick way to adoption, but going into fostering with that idea can confuse and hurt kids. We need to let birth parents know we're taking

An AFPAG member also serves on the commit- care of their kids to give them time to get their

tee which plans Georgia's annual training insti-

act together."

. tutes, so foster parents have a voice in selecting trainings to deal with real-life challenges.

Daniels also has the goal of more counties using mentoring programs, pairing experienced

"When I first started

foster parents with new foster parents, to bring

"DFCS needs us as skilled,

fostering, children's needs weren't as

added support to new families. Too, Daniels and the AFPAG board are working to bring a confer-

professional partners."

demanding as today," ence to Atlanta unlike any ever to have come to

Daniels recalled. "Now Georgia; this conference on recruiting and retain-

more children have been sexually abused or have ing foster families will be primarily for foster

fetal alcohol syndrome or exposure to crack. I

parents and DFCS staff. Daniels also promises

can't take care of a baby with AIDS if I'm not

the February 25-27 AFPAG conference at Jekyll

trained to. These needs are why the required

Island "will be an even bigger success than last

annual training for foster parents was raised from year's."

12 to 15 hours. DFCS needs us as skilled, profes-

sional partners."

Daniels noted that because most foster and

6

adoptive parents "see the state DFCS office from

in Northeast Georgia

A dramatic new direction in child welfare occurred 18 months ago, when the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) J)e<:ame law. This federal law requires that children in foster care receive permanent homes more quickly than previously.
"ASFA frightened us because we worried about our ability meet its time requirements," recalled Myra Josey, state DFCS
ultant located in Augusta; Josey consults with agencies in 16-county region called Area 8. "It's taken lots of hard work, ut we're exactly where we need to be under ASFA. On July 1, 998, we had 607 children in care. On July 1 of this year, we ere down to 360. That's a significant reduction. The majority f these children were able to go back with their families. Jn that
12 months, 78 adoptions were finalized, with the other children
g reunified with birth parents or custody being transferred relatives. We still have 46 children awaiting an adoptive f>lacement."

Josey added, ''When I began as a foster care worker 13 years ago, we didn't have the resources available now. We've always had counselors available, but it used to be families would have one or two appointments a month. Now we can have counselors go in a home three, four or five times a week, as needed. We can help parents with training and employment."
''We make sure we educate o\ir fos- Myra Josey assists DFCS ter parents about ASFA and how they agencies in 16 counties.
can help," noted Rosalyn Panton, Augusta DFCS corrective action consultant.
Keeping Time in Mind

Under ASFA, courts hold agencies strictly accountable for moving children into a permanent living situation within 12 months. Agencies can only obtain short extensions if case managers can give judges compelling reasons why the current plan will work if given a few more months. Agencies have changed how they work so children can find permanent living arrangements within ASFA's timeframes.
''Now from the beginning, our agencies make families aware bf the law's timeframe," Josey explained. ''We give parents a form that maps out the timeline-it's very visual, with pictures
of clocks that show what needs to happen when for their chil-
dren to be able to return home. Also judges are very aware of ASFA and are telling families, 'You need to make these changes within a year to have your child returned home.' I meet with my area's counties at least every three months to talk about the progress of every single child still in foster care there. It's just a whole different tone."
Doing More Sooner
Also families now quickly receive much more intensive attention.
"Jn the past, large caseloads held back case managers from getting to know their families very quickly," Josey noted. "Now we're able to hire private partners to carry out comprehensive assessments of families, from the beginning gathering all the information we need. They talk to extended family to get family history. They get the children's school records, medical records and set up psychological testing for the family, if that's needed. This information helps case managers more quickly come up with solid plans to target each family's particular needs."

Panton added, "One of the things our agency now does is for the case managers to meet together on a monthly basis to talk about each child's permanency plan. At the meetings, we all have a list of all those children, the number of months they've been in roster care, their ages, the type of placement they're in, and their permanency plan. We take as much time as needed going through and exchanging ideas about strategies for these cases. That keeps everybody focused on the task of finding permanent homes and reminds everyone the agency has a serious commitment to meet ASFA timeframes."
Family conferencing (a process described in the Wmter 1999 issue of Rosalyn Panton is an this newsletter) is another key tool for Augusta DFCS consultant.
working intensively with families. These meetings bring together teams of professionals, extended family and friends to coordinate planning and support for families, both to help them more quickly make key necessary changes, as well as to help them sustain positive, safe lifestyles overtime.
''We need to remember what time is like for a child," Josey emphasized. "Jn percentages, 12 months in foster care out of a 4-year-old's life is like someone taking your family away from you for more than seven years if you're a 30-year-old case manager. We're not moving fast just because it's the law. We're moving fast because it's in children's best interests."

Foster Care Unit Division of Family and Children Services
Suite 18-222 Two Peachtree Street, NW
D H R Atlanta, GA 30303-3180

The 2000 Foster Parent and Staff Development Institutes:
Working Together for Children

Learning to team together for children in foster care: that is the purpose of the 2000 Foster Parent and Staff Development Institutes. Institutes will be held on Fridays and Saturdays at four different locations throughout the state.

As in past years, the

Catch u with the Institute

Institute will offer foster parents and agency

March 17-18 ............... .Cordele April 14-15 ..................Athens

staff a selection of sessions with a practical focus. Friday's large-

May 12-13 .......... .. ... .Savannah group session will

June9-10 ................... .Macon center on building rela-
tionships, negotiating,

and coaching children

about choices. The session will also examine social

contracting to reach agreement between foster

parents and agency staff, as well as between foster

parents and children in their care. Agency staff

and foster parents will be invited to describe difficult real-life challenges they have encountered, and the presenter will suggest strategies and plans for effectively addressing such challenges.
Saturday's topics will include preparing teens for independent living; parenting, coaching and enjoying teens; post-adoption support services; understanding and managing challenging behaviors; the premature infant; working with alcohol and drug-exposed infants and children; and helping children with learning differences at school and in the home.
Institute registration brochures will be mailed to foster parents. Foster parents are asked to coordinate their attendance with their local DFCS. If local DFCS agencies cannot answer a question about the Institutes, call 800.227.3410 for questions about attending the Institute; for all other questions, call 404.657.3454.